A blog devoted to RANTS ON AUTOMOTIVE DESIGN, car reviews, and - above all - fugly autos. whether looking for vehicular plagiarism or rides of extreme tastelessness, you've come to the right place.


Thursday, December 30, 2010

Vauxhall R8

I wouldn't say the revised Vauxhall R8 is fugly exactly, although the increasing number of stereotypical go-fast styling cues are approaching critical mass. I'm mainly posting because of the new split grille with chrome toppers. The added chrome looks like unnecessary bling, crowding an already complex front end treatment - and looks a lot like the grille of the pre-facelift current generation BMW 3 Series.

Ass10


In a reversal from the last post, this owner created a Astro van out of an S10/Sonoma pickup. Looks like he's aiming for 50's hot rod look 30 years too late.

Fiastro!


Want a pickup truck but for some reason can't afford one? Just cut off the top haphazardly with metal shears! Youngins cutting themselves on all the sharp edges? Line it with foam!

What's Next - Elbow Macaroni and Glitter?

The pictures shown here are of select samples of the custom graphics available for the 2012 Ford Focus. Essentially giant from-the-factory stickers for your car, they're akin the vinyl pinstriping popular in the 80's (but less tasteful and on a much larger scale). It doesn't bode well when the photos released by Ford are nausea inducing. For example, the "retro" rounded square pattern above, in lime green against a teal car. Fads come and go (speaking of teal paint - hello 1994), so hopefully these sticker packages are easily removable for the sake of resale value. Scroll down for more fugly Focuses.




Monday, December 20, 2010

Wagon Queen Family Truckster



I suppose I should also honour the actual Wagon Queen Family Truckster, even if it is a commentary on the absurdity of the American wagons of the late 70's.

Wagon King Executive Cruiser


The Wagon Queen Family Truckster was also available in this upscale version.

Casper the Fugly Intergra


While on the topic of spoilers, this guy decided to go a route opposite of the Mustang below and install the new spoiler on top of the old one. Double downforce, yo. This car earns bonus point for multiple skulls sprouting out of the bodywork.

Front End Downfarce, Part 2: Ground Dynam(Retangle)c Mustang


So you bought a gigantic new rear spoiler. But what do you do with your stock spoiler now that the park bench is now installed on the front? This innovative mind channeled the Civic below and grafted it to the hood. It’s aerodynamic, yo. This ingenuity was also applied to the graphics up front – if you’ve found that your lettering is not lining up, a good way to fill up the empty space is to just widen your letter “I”.

Front End Downfarce


This Civic is so fast it needs an extra spoiler on the hood for extra downforce. In fact it’s so fast it blew off the bump strips on it’s doors.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Altimate Predator

A.) Elaborate themed paint job - especially non-automotive themes like this one based on the Predator franchise - pretty much guarantee fugliness.

B.) How the hell is that guy driving?? Is he 4 feet tall or is his seat completely reclined?

Twisted Daze





Pretty much and modified 3rd and 4th generation Honda Civic can be considered fugly, but here's a fine example. Apparently modified by "Twisted Daze", this robin's egg blue 4 door Civic has the obligatory wide-mouthed body kit and gigantic spoiler, as well as frenched taillights. All of which can't hide the fact that this is a boxy 80's economy car. Other fugly details include painted window visors (I'm guessing the poor man's attempt at a chop-top look), an astonishing 16 Honda logos on the exterior (yet strangely no mention of VTEC, VTECH, or Type R), and an interior seemly lined in industrial Berber carpeting and completely lacking instrumentation (in that I highly doubt the 4 remaining aftermarket gauges adequately relay all the information vital to driving).

Pontiac Slimebird


It's amazing to think that someone else thought this was a good look. Having a hard time deciding which car is worse, but I'll have to go with this Firebird for the lime green on teal paint alone. And for the fact that the flaming green bird motif (what is it - radioactive?) looks more like the car hit Slimer cruising on the highway. At least they only ruined a V6 Firebird and not a Trans-Am (although I suppose it could be an unfortunate Formula).

Saturday, December 18, 2010

A Genesis Coupe, a Yaris, and a Dacia walk into a bar…


The Baojun 630 is GM’s attempt at a low priced car for the Chinese (around $7000 in fact). The result is a strange “second world everycar” – somehow, just by looking at it, you can tell it’s a cheap car whose build quality is suspect. It’s awkward proportions suggest that it’s an older platform with fancy modern duds that recall several other current cars (not unlike the redressed Fiat platforms used well beyond their best before dates by manufacturers in several Eastern European countries). To be specific, it looks like a Toyota Yaris with the face of a Dacia Sandero grafted on. It even borrows the Hyundai Genesis Coupe's aggresive "Z" body detailing.

Buick Cutrate Cutlass


I had almost forgotten about one of the most forgettable cars of the 90's until I saw one watching TV last night. The 1997-1999 was one of the worst cases of badge engineering from GM in the 90's, with little differentiating it from the Malibu. Making things worse, it was also far worse to look at than the Chevy, with some brutally ugly taillights. It also stuck out like a sore thumb - at this point Olds had adopted sleek Aurora based styling. The Cutlass tried to fit in, but the Malibu wasn't exactly sleek and the car ended up looking more Chevy than Olds.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Durango Redeux


Thought I would post this to lift Mopar fans spirits. Autoblog recently posted a review of the Durango, which featured a beautiful monochromatic black Durango with gunmetal rims. Absolutely sinister. Probs on the design, even if it looks a little Enclavey.


Photos copyright ©2010 Drew Phillips / AOL

Photoshop < Actual Photos

I know it seems like I'm ragging on Chrysler a lot, and part of me feels as if it's unfair. The companies been through hard times and is trying to restructure itself as best it can. But things like this bug me, due to their half-assed attempt.


The 2011 Jeep Compass, I have to say, is not fugly. The did a remarkable job of curing the fugly it once suffered from with little more than a new nose. Bravo!

However, did you really have to photoshop some of the first official images of the new car SUV? This is the publics first polished view of the car, and I'm sure those not graphically aware will think there's something slightly odd about those monochromatic reflections and flat looking colour. The cincher? Whoever did it painted right over the three holes below the 7 slot grille.


One has to ask - couldn't they just take pics of the Compass painted the right colour? Or at least keep it the colour it used to be. Or, you know, hire someone to photoshop it correctly. And as a graphic artist it pains me to say I'd rather see it one of the two previous options - however talented you are, things look most real when they're actually real. For me it taints their image when it wouldn't cost much more to do things right for a vehicles launch (or at least plan in advance and making and bring a red Compass with you).

*EDIT - looks like there's a whole series of them, some work better than others. I'm guessing they only had a grey Compass at the time of shooting. Below you can see a similar situation with the 3 slots, and this time the Compass badge of the door has a blue tint, like it wasn't cropped out. I admit convincing colour changes like this are difficult, but those areas look a bit sloppy.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Vital Evolution 7



It sounds like a bad straight to VHS movie, but Vital Evolution 7 is actually a highly customized Mitsubishi GTO/3000GT. With a paint job that looks like an experimental safety car from the 70's, it's isn't exactly stealthy. Also, I doubt covering the rear window in plastic aids rearward visibility. Or is legal for that matter. At least you don't have to worry about the giant wing blocking your vision in the rear view mirror.

Reverse Nephrectomy


Just in case people might not recognize it as a BMW, it's always good to install extra dual kidney grilles.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Fuglies

In January I'm going to roll out "The Fuglies", my awards (well, photoshoped images of awards) for the cars that have generated the most traffic to my site in the past year*. The top three will receive gold, silver and bronze (with the top 10 receiving honourable mentions). The top three received much more traffic than I thought they would, separating themselves from the rest by such a degree that I could have named them months ago. You'll see who they are in a couple weeks.

* I realize that I only returned to blogging again in late January of 2010, but I don't think it would have made any difference for the main offenders as their traffic outshines all the others. And when better to sum up the year than January?

Fenice Milano Strikes Again



A little late on the draw here, but Fenice Milano has decided to tackle a much less expensive car than it's last. But this gold plated Fiat 500 they call the Bianca is no less extravagant (or tacky). Hopefully we don't see these around when Fiat 500s start appearing at Chrysler showrooms next year.

Soaring Mercedes



Don't let the title fool you into thinking this is about the infamous flying Mercedes CLRs of 1999. What you see here is a Toyota Soarer (or an Lexus SC to North American folks) made up to look like a Mercedes coupe. A weird combo of CLK, SL and Japanese tuner car, I'm unsure why you wouldn't just buy a CLK as it's most likely cheaper, and pretty much looks the same (although the CLK has better lines than this mish-mashed attempt at replicating the look).

Asma Panamera takes your breath away


Asma - Asthma - get it?

Tuners of the Porsche Panamera have to tread very lightly in the styling department. The stock Panamera is already polarizing, so changes can have disastrous results.

The car you see here is the product of the Asma Design. Maybe the thought they could hide the car's awkward proportions by fitting as many "speed holes" as they could on the rear bumper. And then filling those holes with red LED lights.

Also, being in the market of modifying luxury cars, you would think they would have access to a better camera than the one on their cell phone.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Chevrolet Runs Deep

Chevrolet has coined a new slogan that almost gained as much ire on the interwebs as the notorious Chevy Volt Song:

Chevy Runs Deep


All I can think of when I hear that slogan is Ice Cube's song "It Was a Good Day" - and most people seem to have a similar sexually based connotation.


"And my Chevy runs deep,
so deep, put her ass to sleep."

Chevrolet still hopes you have long term amnesia

*NOTE: This is not a typical AutoFug post in that I don't think these cars are necessarily ugly (unless previously featured). Think of it more as an AutoRant.

So Chevrolet is about to introduce a new Aveo. Yet, they've decided that for North America they're going to rename it. The reasoning?
"The Sonic represents a new beginning for Chevrolet in the small car segment and so we felt it was time to give it a new name. The new car is roomy, stylish and fun to drive, and Sonic is a youthful, energetic name that helps convey what this vehicle is about."
In other words: "The Aveo was so craptacular that we decided to rename it, hoping that the old feelings of hatred will stay with the Aveo name." Sound familiar?


Yes, Chevrolet has been down this road before. Twice actually. The first time it was the Cavalier, with the Cobalt being so groundbreaking that it deserved a rebranding. Yes it was a new car, but it proved itself to be hardly as revolutionary as GM hyped it as being. Sure, the SS will go down in the annals of automotive history as being a pretty solid cheap sports car, but the "cheap basic transportation" vibe through the rest of the lineup carried through, albeit in a better package. Regardless of how much better it was than the Cavalier, it also lacked the polish of it's Japanese competitors, still relegating it to the Cavalier's second tier status.


The second time this occurred was with the same car (in that it's a compact sedan for all you Chevrolet fanbois). Like history repeating, again the Cobalt is being rebranded as the groundbreaking Cruze. Again it's an entirely new car, but this time it's an entirely new concept: instead of going for the lowest common denominator (low price and subsequent lower than average quality teamed with above average American power), the Cruze is a bit more expensive (and better built) and a bit lower powered than some of it's competition. Only time will tell if it's received by the public as "just another Cavalier".

Basically, I find it a bit lame to rename a car in hopes that people will forget the old one. For one it's basically implying that we're all stupid. And secondly, why not just make a quality car in the first place - one that people will actually want to buy and won't receive a tarnished reputation that you hope to erase from the public's memory? And I doubt this helps brand recognition either. I would think you would want people to remember the names of their cars, and hopefully remember them fondly.

In the case of the "Sonic", it looks pretty much exactly like a newer Aveo should. If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's probably a duck.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Pruck that.



Yes, it's a Pruis truck. Apparently someone saw fit to answer a question no one asked.

The awkwardly named Pruck looks as awkward as it's name. The Subaru Baja looks like it was the most fitting (I use that term loosely) candidate for grafting onto the Prius. I'm guessing it's because the width or ride heights were similar, because the rooflines definitely don't match. And what you're looking at here is the FINISHED product. Not sure why the creator choose to leave the Baja's plastic SUV style body cladding in it's contrasting colour. Maybe they thought it would divert the eyes from the warped greenhouse where the bodies meet. Or that you wouldn't see how the rear doors curve to make room for the rear wheels even though they were moved a foot back. Whatever the case, the builder also seems to be as good at taking photos as they are working sheetmetal (the trick to taking photos to get the whole subject within said photos).

Regardless, I wonder how the added weight and aerodynamic inefficiency of the bed factor into fuel mileage. Because if it has the fuel comsumption of a regular car wouldn't it just be easier, cheaper, and less embarrassing to drive something like - oh - a Subaru Baja?

*Sidenote: it appears this Pruis/Pruck has had a plug-in conversion which appears to have turned it from hybird to full-on EV.


Norster 600R

This answer to this question: "What do you get when you combine an Austin Healey Sprite with a modern mid-engine sports car and a golf cart?"

Basing anything off the looks of the frogeye Sprite isn't a good idea (surprisingly yet to be featured here), but add the awkward proportions of the mid-engine layout and the upright windshield and 20hp engine from a golf cart and you the recipe for automotive failure.

Chinese Tomahawk is more of a blunt object



What could be more frightening than attempting to drive the Viper V10 powered 2003 Dodge Tomahawk motorcycle? Probably driving it's Chinese knockoff equivalent. For a different reason however. In the Tomahawk, that fear was from the powerful V10 attempting to give you third degree burns or propelling you into immovable objects at alarm speeds. It's Chinese counterpart is powered by a 150CC single cylinder engine, so it's safe to say the prior fears are pretty much non-existant. However, a whole new set of fears manifest as you pray that it doesn't fall apart or that you aren't run over by other traffic while attempting to achieve anything resembling forward momentum.