Tale of Two Many Designers

Behold Toyota's first purpose built, hydrogen powered production car.  Yes, even you can walk down to your local Toyota dealership and buy one of these alien looking transportation devices and drive it home.  Well - if you live in California.

The Mirai has a tough act to follow.  In 1997, Toyota was at the automotive forefront of the alternative fuel movement with the Prius. The Prius quickly rose in popularity to become a household name, and it's aero-formed shape became iconic - eventually copied far and wide as consumers began equating it's shape to that of efficiency.  Witness how the Civic, and to and even greater extent, the Elantra, adopted similar "wedge-teardrop" profiles for their more mainstream, economy minded cars.  The Elantra is also proof that although you can make a slippery shape to drive sales, that alone will not guarantee spectacular mileage figures.

And then comes thes stylistic mess that is the Mirai. I think this may be Toyota's attempt at maintaining the lessons learned from the Prius's proven excellent aerodynamics, yet visually blinding you to the fact that the shape is a Prius copycat by hacking at the clay design models with a machete and stuffing some lights and vents that look like they belong on a refrigerator truck in the gaping wounds.  Out back you'll find odd, stacked taillights, seemingly borrowed from a very sad Bangle-butt 7-Series. Squint and you'll see a fuzzy, Prius-like outline.  Open your eyes and you'll see something that looks like a Star Trek prop.

Inside isn't much better.  Toyota seems insistent on continuing to use it's oft-maligned central stacked gauges.  In the Mirai, the infuriating setup centres an otherwise featureless expanse of dashboard broken by swooshes of plastic of contrasting colour and texture.  It looks futuristic, as if it was lifted from one of the space shuttles on the U.S.S. Enterprise.  But not necessary attractive, and there seems to be a lot of wasted space sitting directly in front of the front seats passengers.

  

Perhaps the most dramatic and off-putting aspect of the design are the exaggerated swooping fender lines, which are oddly amplified in the press photos; the setting sun on the horizon zig-zags across the body like a funhouse mirror.  I assume to it's wavy, undulating side are meant to emulate the Mirai powerplant's only waste product - water. Unlike water, the Mirai isn't very refreshing.

Fake Plastic Windows

The Toyota Camry is as much of an appliance as it is a car. People buy them because they're dependable, put together well and get you from point A to point B. They have about as much style and emotion as a refrigerator.

 The "sporty" Camry SE gets an aggresive new maw.

For 2015, Toyota hopes to at least change the its style to be something more than a generic transportation device. The changes are most obvious up front, where squinty headlights and a gaping grille lend a more sinister appearance that aligns more with the new gaping mouths on the Corolla and Avalon, as well as the recently facelifted X-nosed Yaris.

 Your run-of-the-mill 2015 Camry, soon to be seen clogging Wal-Mart parking lots.

However, as you move toward the back of the car, it's more obvious that this is just a facelift as the rest of the car shares much with the last generation model. And then you get to the D pillar.

Window?  Windon't.

It's as if the stylists at Toyota thought the car from the A-pillar back was too recognizably "old", so they stuck a black and chrome applique on the D-pillar to badly simulate an elongated greenhouse. It looks fake, and messes up the car's lines - it's basically change for the sake of change. Were it not for that sad piece of plastic, the refreshed Camry would not be featured on this blog.

Singa-Poor Taste, Part I

A friend of mine working in Singapore recently sent me some rather interesting rides he's seen recently, such as this Toyota MR-2/MRS with more scoops than Baskin Robins. Sadly, given the outrageous car prices in Singapore, this car probably costs more than a Ferrari (a Ferrari purchased in North America that is).

Supra Fugly

I apologize for the horrible quality, but this was snagged from the road.  Basically a late '80's Toyota Supra, modified to include a body kit with a gigantic Toyota emblem grille and - confusingly - Nissan 350Z headlights.  I had to do a double take just to understand what I was looking it.  You would think that with the number of people that graft Toyota Celica headlights onto their abominations, that that would be the go-to headlight for ruining a Toyota.  Especially if you're faithful enough to the brand to turn the entire front end of the car into a giant Toyota logo.

Delusions of Grandeur

The last generation Toyota Tercel did share a lot in common with period Bimmers. This innovative person decided to take that a step further...

Toyota MR-2 Mustake

Usually when you’re provided a cheap mid-engine car and you have delusions of grandeur, you turn it into same slightly odd-looking Ferrari or Lamborghini. So I’m sure what to call the disorder that would cause you to turn your Toyota MR-2 into an imitation Mustang – a car that isn’t exactly the hardest to come by. Reverse Redneckism?

OK – these are trying to look like Shelby Mustangs, which are rarer and more expensive that your run-of-the-mill Mustang. But wouldn’t it be easier to by an ACTUAL Mustang and make it look like a Shelby? You can probably buy one for the same price as an MR2, and it wouldn’t look like an abomination.

Dreaming of a 300C Hybrid?

Wait no longer! In a remarkable show of restraint, the cars actually doesn't have scissor doors.

A Genesis Coupe, a Yaris, and a Dacia walk into a bar…

The Baojun 630 is GM’s attempt at a low priced car for the Chinese (around $7000 in fact). The result is a strange “second world everycar” – somehow, just by looking at it, you can tell it’s a cheap car whose build quality is suspect. It’s awkward proportions suggest that it’s an older platform with fancy modern duds that recall several other current cars (not unlike the redressed Fiat platforms used well beyond their best before dates by manufacturers in several Eastern European countries). To be specific, it looks like a Toyota Yaris with the face of a Dacia Sandero grafted on. It even borrows the Hyundai Genesis Coupe's aggresive "Z" body detailing.

Soaring Mercedes

Don't let the title fool you into thinking this is about the infamous flying Mercedes CLRs of 1999. What you see here is a Toyota Soarer (or an Lexus SC to North American folks) made up to look like a Mercedes coupe. A weird combo of CLK, SL and Japanese tuner car, I'm unsure why you wouldn't just buy a CLK as it's most likely cheaper, and pretty much looks the same (although the CLK has better lines than this mish-mashed attempt at replicating the look).

Pruck that.

Yes, it's a Pruis truck. Apparently someone saw fit to answer a question no one asked.

The awkwardly named Pruck looks as awkward as it's name. The Subaru Baja looks like it was the most fitting (I use that term loosely) candidate for grafting onto the Prius. I'm guessing it's because the width or ride heights were similar, because the rooflines definitely don't match. And what you're looking at here is the FINISHED product. Not sure why the creator choose to leave the Baja's plastic SUV style body cladding in it's contrasting colour. Maybe they thought it would divert the eyes from the warped greenhouse where the bodies meet. Or that you wouldn't see how the rear doors curve to make room for the rear wheels even though they were moved a foot back. Whatever the case, the builder also seems to be as good at taking photos as they are working sheetmetal (the trick to taking photos to get the whole subject within said photos).

Regardless, I wonder how the added weight and aerodynamic inefficiency of the bed factor into fuel mileage. Because if it has the fuel comsumption of a regular car wouldn't it just be easier, cheaper, and less embarrassing to drive something like - oh - a Subaru Baja?

*Sidenote: it appears this Pruis/Pruck has had a plug-in conversion which appears to have turned it from hybird to full-on EV.

UAE Land Cruiser

I'm quite sure the land this Land Cruiser will be cruising is mostly paved. And I think it needs more lights.

PISA Scorpion

Another Phoenix International Sport Automobiles (PISA) Fiero creation. This unholy union of Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme and Toyota Celica is at least more unique than some of their other kits. In fact, at first glance I wouldn't have seen the Fiero connection had all of their products not revolved around Pontiac's mid-engined plagiarist's dream.

Bumblebeater, Pt. 2

At first glance it might appear to be a picture of an R8, until the bright yellow monstrosity to the left overwhelms your senses.

If the Fast and the Furious franchise has taught us anything, it's that Supra tail lights look good on any car (or truck).

Great Flaming Corollas

The Toyota Corolla is not exactly an engaging vehicle. Seeing one does not cause pre-teen boys to take chase, so why it would form the basis of riceburner I’m not sure. Especially a fog-lights-lacking low end automatic. If there’s anything good to say, it’s that a better car was saved from being the canvas for these unfortunate modifications. This car is a bit of a cross genre piece. For the most part it’s a ricer with a carbon fibre spoiler, headlights and hideous projectile taillights, as well as some very “Hot Wheels” flames applied to it’s sides. A couple features set it apart though, including the “aluminum pie plate” dubs and a giant naked angel airbrushed on the hood. I think it’s an angel – could be a skank lying on top of a giant dove. Plus there’s bonus hidden fug, as lifting the hood reveals a menacing visage painted on the underside of the hood. I especially like how all three pieces of artwork – the flames, the airbrushing and the hidden face – all clash with each other and are seemingly unrelated.

Got Wood?

For some reason, this car's owner has decided to apply a burled walnut look to the car's fenders and hood. Yet the other panels remain untouched (well, except for the black front bumper). Is this a fug in progress?

Murceilago MR2

It's rare to see a kit car that bears such little resemblance to the car it's trying to mock. I'm guessing this might be Corvette based, due to what appears to be a front mounted engine. There's a surprising amount of MR2 based Lamborghini rip-offs out there now too, but this looks a little too long...

Mercedes-Benz Corolla

I almost thought it was an E Class. With the round headlights and all.

Toyota Shamu

I believe this is an early Lexus LS / Toyota Celsior. In true Bōsōzoku tradition, the car modification has spread like cancer in the form of multiple taillights and pointles louvers. This car was particularly hard hit, as even it's side reflectors and license plates are multiplying. And the there's that spoiler, which puts the 911 Turbo's whale tail to shame.

Gumpert Appalling

Given that the Gumpert Apollo is a butterface on a good day, you can be fairly certain that an MR2 based knockoff is not a looker. According to the eBay listing, it has such modern conveniences as an exhaust and suspension. No more carbon monoxide poisoning! What a time we live in…

Another gem from the listing: “Here is the chance to own a "One Off" drop dead exotic vehicle at a small fraction of any high performance vehicle.” I’m assuming he’s talking about it’s performance, not it’s cost…