A blog devoted to RANTS ON AUTOMOTIVE DESIGN, car reviews, and - above all - fugly autos. whether looking for vehicular plagiarism or rides of extreme tastelessness, you've come to the right place.


Friday, March 26, 2010

Audi R"Ain't"

Going to tackle a couple here. Above is a poor yet hideous rendition of the R8 in TT form. Below is a just plain sad attempt to replicate the look on a Mitsubishi Eclipse.

Attack of the Clones: RUF Stormster


The bloated widebody kit on the Cayenne, plus it's maniacally grinning grille, small 911 headlights and green paint reminds me horned "pacman" frog in defense mode. I'm not sure "angry frog" was the look they were going for.

The ZR1 Engine Window

This isn't to say that the ZR1 is ugly. I don't think it is... I little overwrought maybe, but not ugly. But I don't like the lame engine window. I could kind understand it if you could actually see the engine. But I window so you can look at a lame-ass engine cover? Boooo.

Toyota Origin



Again, other hideous JDM Toyota. Don't mean for this to be "rag on Toyota" day, but I'm on a roll and can't stop. Not unlike late model Toyotas. Oh snap!

The Toyota Origin was a special edition model, based off the Toyota Progrès, and meant to recall the Toyopet Crown. An inhouse Japanese neoclassic!

Verossa? More like Grossa...


Just another hideous JDM Toyota, this time with angry fish motif not unlike Mitsuoka.

If there's a WiLL, stay away...

I'm going to cover a couple cars in this post... Toyota sold three cars under the WiLL nameplate in Japan. These cars were seemingly designed to see just how fugly a car could be ans still have the public want to buy it, not unlike the Scion brand in North America. I'm going to cover two of the three, as the third I don't find all that fugly.



First up is the Toyota WiLL Vi, based on the Yaris - but with a bizarro symmetrical but asymmetrical body and ribbed body panels inspired by two of the world's fugliest cars - the Ford Anglia and the Citreon Ami.


The second is the Toyota WiLL Cypha, which is also based on the Yaris but with a circles and angles them.

Not what I would call Progrès


Apparently in Japan, they prefer to make about 15 version of the same basic car. Honda and Toyota especially seem to do this, or at least did in the 90's. Some of these cars are quite fugly, as if they ran out of ways to rehash the same basic car.

The car you see here is the Toyota Progrès, which debuted before the Toyota Altezza / Lexus IS, darling of the ricer set and the origins of many hideous aftermarket taillights. Those taillights, it seems, were inspired by the headlights on the Progrès' gaudy mug.

The Jaguar XJ's weird D-pillar




I've been a fan of the Jaguar XJ since it's inception (well - except for a brief time in the late 80's, but who wants to remember anything from the 80's anyway). But that weird-ass D-pillar on the new one completely destroyed my feelings for the new one. It just looks stupid. Maybe if the whole roof were black, but as it is now it looks like a manufacturing error. And those Lancia Thesis taillights are that great either. It's a shame - the XF turned out so well.

Merconda Town Car

It actually looks kind of convincing at first, until you see the Honda Accord headlights. Also note the Beemer rear end on the Lincoln in the background.

Ferrapri



A good sign that a car is not a real Ferrari is if it uses taillights from a Mercury Capri.

Knut Rider



This poor Mustang appears to be the ill-conceived bastard child of a late-gen Fox and 1970 era Mustangs, with a smidge of the current, pre-facelift model thrown in perhaps. Also - I don't believe it has headlights. But who needs those, right?

Jaguar V-Type


I'm not sure yet whether V-Type standards for Volkswagen or Vagina. I hope someone rammed it with that cart.

Van Butch(ered)

Ever wonder what would happen is a Ford Taurus and a F100 panel van mated?

978.5 Chevy (that's half of 1957 - get it?!?)





This car might have actually looked kinda cool if it didn't:

A.) Look like a clown car.

B.) Have a body that consists solely of bondo, rust and electrical tape.

fully molded custom wide body modified to the max!




I love ebay. Every once and a while you'll come across a gem like this, and you always wonder "who in God's name think this looks nice", and then you read the ad. I've included snippets below. A couple area of note are the the awesome new rear window, overspray of the "custom blue primer" on the taillights and whatever is seen behind the rear bumper (it's not a muffler - it doesn't have one), and the louvered gauge cluster.

up for sale is my custom 89 civic hatchback witch is a fully molded custom wide body modified to the max !!!it is in a custom blue primer!!

ive recently lost interested in the car an dont have much time for it any more so i decided it was time to part with it an take the loss witch will be ur gain!!

car will needed trailered out of here becaese it isnt inspected an it dont have a muffler but if u transfer title here an make it legit u can drive it home though but it will be real loud lol !!

this is a one of a kind civic wont find one like it never so bid with confidents serious bidders only!!

interior:

-custom black satin diamond plated floor mats real diamond plate with custom blue honda symbold cut in them with matching rear floor matts as well

-custom crx guage bezel vented like mini trucks

-custom blue headliner

-blue racing pedels

-blue piston shift knob rare

suspention:

-front,back,side to side,pancake,sesaw,each independent,dog leg,rear wheel tuck while drivin lots more u can do !!

-big valves an lines it is real quick car jumps right off the ground an moves inches away from were it was lol nasty fast!!

exterior:

-full wide body kit

-fully molded

-custom molded headlights round blue headlights

-rear hatch was removed an is molded shut with small window

-shaved door handles moldings trim rain gutters everything is shaved except wiper squarters

-it needs a piece of plexy glass cut for the back window but i do have the custom rubber trim for it for easy install other window was lost an i cant find it lol

-car is fully custom an done right no junk here car is almost perfectly straight jist needs a little tlc an will be ready for paint !!

engine:

engine is all stock an runs good but could use a tune up an a cold air intake its got the si conversion too it an the si ecu as well it still needs the muffler welded on it its got all new custom exhaust from the stainless steel header all the way back !!