A blog devoted to RANTS ON AUTOMOTIVE DESIGN, car reviews, and - above all - fugly autos. whether looking for vehicular plagiarism or rides of extreme tastelessness, you've come to the right place.
Showing posts with label Lincoln. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lincoln. Show all posts
Friday, December 05, 2014
The Navigator is Lost
The 2015 Navigator is a bit of an automotive Coelacanth. Fresh from a recent facelift, its basic bones date back to its previous redesign in 2007, and that redesign looked like a mild evolution the one that proceeded it, which was introduced in 2003. 8 years is a lifetime in automotive evolution, where most cars would have been completely redesigned at least a couple times.
Improving on the 2007 Navigator shouldn't have been too difficult. 2007 was a time of uncertainty at Lincoln, as the brand didn't seem to know where it was going in terms of style. The 2003 Navigator was filled with outdated Lincoln cues - the vertical waterfall grille and taillights looked like your Grandfather's Town Car. In the mid-2000s, Lincoln released a series of concepts using the 1963 Continental as inspiration. The Navigator was one of the first Lincoln production cars to adopt a similar style, consisting mainly of a new glizty horizontal grille and wide rectangular taillights.
Where the 1963 Continental was understated and elegant, the same cues on the 2007 Navigator were awkward and garish. In my eyes it looks more like the tacky Lincoln luxo-barges of the 70s than it's stylish precedessors.
Which brings us to 2015. Lincoln must have realized translating the new "Continental" look into production cars that were basically warmed over Fords would be difficult. The only other Lincoln to share a similar face was the Lincoln MKX, and after which Lincoln began to phase in it's dual waterfall grille (another heritage based design that looks back to the Lincoln Zephur of the 1940s, and equally as polarizing).
Being the only holdover to the "1963" look, Lincoln designers decided to hack up the front end to add in a dual waterfall grille to match the rest of Lincoln's lineup. If you've seen the rest of Lincoln's lineup, you'll understand that making this front end treatment look good can be rather difficult. Especially when you're trying to splice it onto a boxy SUV that's basically a decade old.
Out back things look even worse, as Ford has obviously tried to keep sheetmetal changes to a minimum. The taillights are still huge, now full width but slightly narrower. The turn signal placement on the bottom of the outer pieces line up with cutlines in the tailgate, but the piece in the tailgate is painted body colour and will clash with the turn signals in any colour other than silver. I can only assume this is a stop-gap model until Ford develops a new Expedition and Navigator from the F-150's new aluminum intensive body. Let's hope the next Navigator corrects it's course.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Lincoln Mark VILE
Yes, this is a Mirage – but sadly not an actual mirage. A company by the name of Phaeton thought it was a good idea to make a coupe out of a Town Car by cutting out the rear seat section, thus creating the Mirage. Strangely, the much better looking Mark VI was avalable at Lincoln dealerships at the time.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Mild de-fugging: 2013 Lincoln MKT
I previously posted my hatred of the Lincoln MKT on this site. Thought I would update my opinion on the matter now that Ford has facelifted it's high-riding minivan for 2013.
Although it's an improvement, it's pretty evident that nothing short of a complete reskin will save this bloated vehicle from looking like a whale. To make matters worse, the revised grille looks even more like baleen than it did before...
In short: it looks better, but the end result is akin to Rosie O'Donnell getting a nose job. A couple tweaks won't save the rest of the disaster.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Spawn of Spohn
Carosseriebau Hermann Spohn was a German coachbuilder, founded in 1920. Due to it’s formation coinciding with the launch Maybach brand, and it’s close proximity to it’s manufacturing plant, Spohn soon became Maybach's favored coachbuilder. In it’s early days, these cars were indeed beautiful, sporting low rooflines with typically flowing fenders of the periods most attractive cars.
Above: 1952 Spohn Palos, based on a 1940 Ford. This picture was taken during restoration, but returning it to it's original glory won't fix it's awkward lines. Below: A Lincoln rebodied by Spohn.
But as the 50’s drew near, Spohn began to favour aerodynamics and excessive ornamentation, resulting in some very strange looking cars. Trademarks include heavyhanded styling: thick front fenders with low set headlights on either side of a low and steepy sloped front end (usually featuring a garish almost horizontal grille), and gigantic but heavy looking fins out back (usually trailing way behind the rear wheels on an lengthened rear end). Although these were early attempts at aerodynamic aids, they definitely didn’t look sleek. One of the worst offenders was the BMW powered Veritas roadster – an attractive car without the Spohn costume. Another you may recall from this blog previously are some of the gaudy and unfortunately named Gaylord cars. Spohn closed down in 1957.
Above: 1952 Spohn Palos, based on a 1940 Ford. This picture was taken during restoration, but returning it to it's original glory won't fix it's awkward lines. Below: A Lincoln rebodied by Spohn.
But as the 50’s drew near, Spohn began to favour aerodynamics and excessive ornamentation, resulting in some very strange looking cars. Trademarks include heavyhanded styling: thick front fenders with low set headlights on either side of a low and steepy sloped front end (usually featuring a garish almost horizontal grille), and gigantic but heavy looking fins out back (usually trailing way behind the rear wheels on an lengthened rear end). Although these were early attempts at aerodynamic aids, they definitely didn’t look sleek. One of the worst offenders was the BMW powered Veritas roadster – an attractive car without the Spohn costume. Another you may recall from this blog previously are some of the gaudy and unfortunately named Gaylord cars. Spohn closed down in 1957.
The Spohn BMW Veritas roadster. Also in a state of restoration, but also also extremely fugly regardless of whether it was in pristine condition.
This period photo of the Spohn BMW Veritas roadster when new really shows it's awkward front grille.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Acura Advanced Sedan Concept
The Acura Advanced Sedan Concept is wrong on many levels. For one, the name is ironic (and lame - couldn't they have thought of something more imaginative?). Why? Well, from the front wheels back this "Advanced Sedan" looks almost exactly like the Lincoln Sentinel concept which debuted in 1996. A 10 year old design is hardly advanced.
And secondly, it introduced the world to Acura's hideous new face, which is especially hideous on this first iteration. I can not imagine what possessed them to continue on with this theme after seeing the result that is this car.
To clarify, I find the Lincoln to be menacing and mean. Something that you would see prowling the streets of Gotham City. Not fugly.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Paging John Wilkes Booth
Well - where to start with this one. This car is one of many that are appearing that seem to be an auto customization case of hoarding. Like the Nissan, BMW, and Dodge Ram before it, it's had so many chrome doo-dads stuck on it it's hard to tell what colour the paint is.

I also find it strange that although these people take the time to amass such large collections of shiny things, you think they would take the time to properly center them before affixing them permanently to the car.


This particular car was for sale on eBay - although I'm not sure if it sold, or who in their right mind would bid on it.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Rolls Royce Guilded Pickup
I think they're going for a Rolls Royce Silver Spirit/Spur thing here, given the period in which it was made. But I somehow think that crooked F150 headlights really exude that genuine Rolls Royce quality. They inspired me so much to write TWO haiku's, not just one.
Nothing says classy
Like F150 headlights
On your stretch limo.
Like F150 headlights
On your stretch limo.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Bentley Town Carnage
Friday, March 26, 2010
Merconda Town Car
Saturday, February 20, 2010
George Barris' Bugazzi
On the outside, this George Barris creation looks like your typical 70's neoclassic extravagance. Not unlike a Stutz. Actually, the only thing on the outside that's uniquely fugly are the square, gold-plated headlight surrounds.
However inside is a different story. In a nutshell, it looks like a richly appointed 70's bathroom threw up in there. In an effort to save weight, fake wood panelling was replaced with real marble. What appears to be a toilet paper holder sprouts from the passenger door. Said passengers are less important than the vintage television that sprouts for the floor, however. Perhaps the pièce de résistance is the flooring, which is made of persian rug. Also, from these pictures it looks like the bottom spoke of the steering wheel is covered in some kind of white fur. The rug theme continues into the trunk, which also contains an elaborately tailored spare wheel cover.

Friday, February 12, 2010
The last Versaillies - I promise...

According to the internet, this mythical creature is a one off whose creator is trying to locate again. Why, I'm not sure. I would be trying to avoid being seen with it again. Maybe he wants to destroy the evidence.
This doesn't appear to be the Grandeur Custom, but a similar hackjob.
Classy Clown Car
What makes a warmed over Ford Granada that barely passes as a Lincoln better? Make it a coupe by hacking out half of the wheelbase, creating a half-baked clown car!Behold the Tomaso coupe, which I hope to God has no affiliation with De Tomaso. This thing just looks brutal, and all the much worse for the weird notched body it has going on by the rear wheels. Looks like they gave up having it fit right. Sadly, there were more than one of these made. And someone did that to Cadillacs too.
Versailles Coupe - you know what they say about long hoods...


What makes a warmed over Ford Granada that barely passes as a Lincoln better? Stretching it before the windsheild, and then chopping it off at the rear doors making it look like a horrible science experiment gone wrong! Abominations like this shouldn't be allowed to survive, and should be killed with fire (and lots of it). This looks kinda familiar, though...
Behold the glory that is the Lincoln Versailles Grandeur Custom! Yes - I just recycled my last post. Just doing my part for the environment.
*NOTE* - I found another image of the black coupe on a brochure that called it the "Custom Royale" (with cheese?). Technically, think the white one is a Grandeur Custom, given the lack of louvers and the edition of fake tires (and the cabin looks slightly longer). Same idea though. Yes - more than one person thought this was a good idea.
Does your Lincoln Versaillies have a banana in it's bonnet or is it happy to see me?





What makes a warmed over Ford Granada that barely passes as a Lincoln better? Stretching it, and adding bonus trunks between the hood and the windsheild that aren't accessible by anyone not freakishly tall!
Behold the glory that is the Lincoln Versailles Premiere! Yes - today I discovered a wealth of Lincoln Neoclassic cars. A genre I thought was solely monopolized by Cadillac, it appears this is not the case. I will stay on the case to see whether this phenomenon is limited to only the lame Lincolns.
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