A blog devoted to RANTS ON AUTOMOTIVE DESIGN, car reviews, and - above all - fugly autos. whether looking for vehicular plagiarism or rides of extreme tastelessness, you've come to the right place.


Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Kia Afugli


The Kia Amati seems to have aimed at several targets at one time and of course missed them all. It's fugliness is mainly centred about it's front end. It's trying to be a Mercedes E-Classe and a 300C at the same time (strangely, the 300C was not out at the time it was concieved - but it really doesn't look like a Rolls or a Bentley). In other words, it's aiming at a high end luxury look. But it fails mainly due to it's relatively high body, tall/vertical grille and tiny wheels.

Fugli Rosemeyer


I understand the historical significance of Audi racecars. But this concept is a "case-in-point" about why retro is not necessarily a good thing.

Those old polished aluminum racers looked cool, and of course had their signature grille flanking the front. However, the grille looked good as the car was basically tube shaped and the grille took up the whole front of the car. On the Rosemeyer, it's stuck in the centre looking small and useless. And fugly. It looks like it sucked a lemon. And it doesn't help that the headlights arc down toward the edge of the body, making the car look sad to be alive. This concept really could have been much, much better. I mean - look at the Audi Avus.

Badge Engineering




We all know that GM is the king of badge engineering. But even back in the '80's with all the Buick/Olds/Chev clones parading around, I have yet to see something this balantly cheap. And GM has done so good with it's badge engineering as of late. I mean - they actually have different bodywork. Usually.

This is not the case. At first you may think, "Hey - an Isuzu Rodeo isn't that bad." Well, it isn't. But this is an Australian version of the Rodeo, rebadged as a Holden Frontera. Still it's not all that bad. But look at the grille. Are you telling me they couldn't afford an NEW GRILLE?!? You can see the freaking rectangular box where the Isuzu logo usually goes!! How cheap can you possibly be?? For those that may argue "my American Rodeo has a different grille" well it does - they used basically the same front end setup as on the Amigo - the American 2-door convertable Rodeo.

If that's not bad enough, the unfortunetly named Holden Jackaroo (isn't that the name of that stupid jackrabbit muppet thing on America's Funniest Home Videos?) has a similar afflication. PS: Although the license plate says Monterey, it's a trim package on the Jackaroo.

Rolling Crap


Scarab beetles were highly worshipped in Egyptian society. And according to movies like "The Mummy" and the "The Mummy Returns", they not only can be summoned by mummies to eat the living, but also showcase Brendan Frasier's bad acting. However, in real life Scarab beetles to not eat living flesh but crap. In fact, one species of Scarap aptly named the Dung Beetle rolls balls of crap with it's hind legs. When it's finished it lays eggs inside and it's larvae grow inside the crap ball while at the same time feeding on it. So it's slightly ironic that the Stout Scarab is sort of named after a rolling ball of crap.

William Bushnell Stout was a man of many accomplished titles. He worked for the Packard Motor Car Company as chief engineer, and became involved with the design and production of the renowned World War I Liberty V-12 aircraft engine. In the early '20s, he established the Stout Metal Plane Company, which was bought by Henry Ford in 1924; Stout remained as vice-president. Stout also formed Michigan-based Stout Air Services, said to be the first U.S. airline to offer regularly scheduled passenger flights; it was sold to United Airlines in 1929. When Ford and Stout disagreed about the Tri-Motor plane, Stout left the company in 1932.

He then concentrated on cars, and through his Stout Engineering Laboratory, began applying the principles of aircraft design to automobiles. Stout's first Scarab prototype was completed by 1932 and looked like no other car on the road. Its aircraft heritage was evident in the steel space frame and aluminum body. It was powered by a Ford V-8 engine mounted in the rear and resembled a fat aircraft without wings or tail. The lack of a driveshaft allowed a low, flat floor, and with its very long wheelbase, and the wheels pushed out the corners, the Scarab was very space efficient. It could really be called the forerunner of the modern mini-van.

Stout formed the Stout Motor Car Company to put it into production. The second Scarab was an evolution of the first, although with some styling and mechanical changes. The headlamps were set behind a vertical-bar grille, which I imagined improved nightime vision. A louvered grille was mounted between the lights, making the car look like a minivan prototype of the Phantom Corsair. At the rear, narrow chrome bars curved from the back window down to the bumper, giving the car an art deco appearance. The body was now steel.

An advanced feature was four-wheel independent suspension, which utilized coil springs surrounding large oil-filled struts, an idea borrowed from aircraft use, where they were called "oleos." They were much like the automobile suspension struts that Earle MacPherson would later invent. The tops of these struts were mounted high, just below the window line. With the suspension thus anchored above the car's centre of gravity, the body was slung like a hammock, which meant that it "banked" inward in corners instead of leaning out as conventional cars did. Smart, but not very practical. Double transverse leaf springs were later used at the rear. Stout also experimented with air suspension using rubberized fabric bellows.

Stout offered the Scarabs for sale for $5,000, in 1935. Several were bought, probably for their novelty value, by such well known figures as tire maker Harvey Firestone, and chewing gum magnate Philip Wrigley. Stout built only nine Scarabs, and five still exist.