Nissan Cube is Fug³

So you can lose all respect for this blog is you want, but I actually kinda liked the first Cube. It was unique, but restrained at the same time. Then Nissan decided to pull an Emeril and kick it up a notch in the weirdness department.

First up, let's get that mug out of the way. Nissan actually said it's design was inspired by, and I quote, a "bulldog in sunglasses". Really? How do they even know what that looks like? Do people with bulldogs make them wear sunglasses a lot? I have to find these people and report them to the SPCA. Also, the windows have all evolved into a weird round porthole shape, which I can't imagine aids visibility.

The asymmetrical rear window is still here, although now the taillights are mounted low across the rear end, where I'm sure they're almost useless when traffic gets tight. Inside, things get worse. Weird for the sake of weird dominates, like the rippled roof fabric.

But the pièce de résistance is definitely the optional shug carpet swatch affixed to the dashboard. What is it for? No one knows... I can't see it being all that useful for holding things still while the car's in motion. I can't really find an info on what it is exactly. Nissan's website talks about it frequently, but they call it a "Shag Dash Topper" and don't mention anything about what it does other than sit there and look stupid.

But perhaps you're sitting there and thinking to yourself, "Well, that's all well and good. But I want something really ugly. And I mean really, REALLY ugly. With lots of chrome". Well, you're in luck! Nissan also offers the Krom edition, spelled improperly because that's cool and people can't spell now anyway thanks to texting. wtf omg rofl.

Aston Martin Lagonda

The Aston Martin Lagonda concept isn't necessarily fugly. Moreso fugly by comparison. For a company that makes so of the most beautiful cars in the world, people weren't expecting it's Lagonda revival to turn out to be a chunky SUV with a budonkadonk. And why do the seats have beards?

Attack of the Clones: Volkzuki Kizetta

Shortly after the Kizashi debuted looking very Jetta-ish, VW bought 20% of Suzuki. Hmmm....

Shel Shocked

I'm enjoying the recent Shelby revival, but poor Carroll should stay out of the paint booth - I think the fumes get to him. This GT500 toured auto shows last year when the Mustang got it's facelift - Carroll choose these colours personally. I think someone should check to see if he's colour blind. If you stare at the red stripes for too long, you'll start to hallucinate.

Again with the razors...

Can you tell which is the Ford and which is the razor? They're getting harder now...

Nissan Bevel vs. Electric Razor

Can you tell which of these photos is the Nissan Bevel concept and which is an electric razor?

Corvette? 57 Chevy? 59 Chevy? Who the fug knows...

Behold the n2a Motors 789. More proof that people should just plain stop making Corvettes into retro cars. It's called the 789 as the front is that of a severely squared '57 Chev, the door detail is from a '58 Chev, and the tail is off a '59.

Chevrolet Uplander: Wal*Mart Edition

I was trying to be discrete taking these photos with my cell phone... I've seen this beaut around a few times, and the camera phone doesn't do it justice. A few items of note:

- Chrome hubcaps on top of steel wheels painted gold (to match the various pieces of the car painted with the same paint).
- Chrome mesh stuffed in every possible oriface.
- Buick portholes.
- Tre Faux hood scoop.
- Irridescent stickers on the sides, windsheild, and air deflector.
- an air deflector.
- bump strips painted silver (ran out of gold?)
- Strangely placed stuck-on scoops behind the front wheels. The appear to point up.
- Chrome chain license plate cover.

Although technically not parked at Wal*Mart, it is visible in the background.