Hot Rod Tracker

What do you get when you combine a Geo Tracker with a hot rod?  Something you shouldn't have combined.

Attack of the Clones: BYD FBR WTF

Another Chinese clone. I get cloning the Toyota Corolla up front, but what's with cloning the Daewoo Lacetti out back? Is Daewoo a high-water mark in terms of car design for the Chinese?

I think it's a Suzuki...

Apparently they were going for a deep sea creature look on the outside, and a Shar Pei look on the inside.

Attack of the Clones: UnImpreza

When the new for 2008 Impreza debuted, it got a lot of flack for being ugly. And although it's grown on me a bit, I still find it less than attractive. And less unique (or attractive) than it's predecessor. And it's a bit of a conglomerate of numerous other make's models, making it a bit of a slightly homely "everycar".

The 5-door hatch is seemingly the most popular model, and the most drastically changed. While the previous Impreza carried over a lot of (unique) styling features from the previous (and first) generation, the 2008 broke the mold. Apparently when they broke the mold, the stole the one Mazda used for the Mazda 3. The DLO is strikingly similar as is the rear spoiler. The front end of the Impreza also looks remarkably like the 3, with similar looking headlights and similarly placed openings and fog lights. The grille setup is different, but it's finicky treatment is one of the front end's worst features.


The DLO and rear end treatment of the 4 door sedan though is remarkably Korean - not something most car-makers would aspire to. The DLO itself is very Daewoo Lacetti / Suzuki Verona / Chevrolet Optra, with it's tails also having a similar look (yet a bit too vertically oriented). When I first saw the tails, the Kia Rio instantly came to mind. Those tails also feature another fugly trait that seems to be increasingly common - strange cutlines. Why are they curved along the bottom? It doesn't follow any of the body lines... It just ends up looking like a manufacturer error, or that the car's been in an accident.

Lay off the Cappuccinos....

What car is the best car to turn into a Nissan GT-R clone? Why, a convertible kei car of course! A Suzuki Cappuccino gave up it's life for this unfortunate science experiment.

Attack of the Clones: Volkzuki Kizetta

Shortly after the Kizashi debuted looking very Jetta-ish, VW bought 20% of Suzuki. Hmmm....

Suzuki Cuteness Overload

More from the 2005 Tokyo show. This year Suzuki is displaying 4 concepts, 3 of which are sickeningly cute.

First up, the a micro-wagon type vehicle, named the "Suzuki Mom's Personal Transport". Such an innovative name. So unnecessarily long, unnecessarily descriptive, and unnecessarily offensize to feminists. Also - speaking of unnecessarily offensize to feminists - notice the cheeseburger and pop in the press photos of the interior. Is that trying to say urban Mom's typically eat fast food and/or feed it to their children? Is it ok to show people that it's ok to feed fast food to your children? Was this car sponsored by McDonalds? Will there be a Suzuki Mom's Personal Tranport McDonalds Edition? If so, they should name it the Suzuki Mom's Personal Transport With Fries.

Anyway, back to the car. It isn't necessarily fugly, but that cutesy toothy smile of a grille it has going has got to go. Cars shouldn't look like cartoon characters.

Next up is another cartoon mini car that isn't quite fugly - the LC. But again, car's should be sleek and efficient - form follows fuction. This is not form follows fuction, unless the sole fuction of this car is to make Shirley Temple look like a steaming pile of dog doo. Also, I really don't like car makers who make a basic reinterpretation of car from the past solely for novelty purposes. Especially when they didn't even make it originally - this car is a ringer for a Fiat 850.

Last but not least is the least cute and most fugly of the Suzuki trio - the Ionis. It's basically a mini minivan that appears to be scowling. This may or may not be because Suzuki gave it a name that's only one letter off from Ford's big show car from a month ago - the Iosis (which was NOT fugly).

Fug. Auto Fug.

What - if anything - does a light purple 5 door Suzuki Swift (with a crappy flame job, naked chick and dated 10 spoke chrome rims) have to do with James Bond?

Suzuki Wagon R, Retirement Version

Another Wagon R, with those damn headlights again. This one has some tri-tone paint, and a cool "I Can't Believe It's Not Metal" front bumper. The Buick teeth grille is a nice change, as are white walls. Perfect for Florida octogenarians.

Astro Boy!

This confuses me. A Suzuki Wagon R again, this time aiming to look like a custom Chevrolet Astro van from the 80's. It even has a Chevy badge! Strangely, I also saw several other Astro imitators as well, but the pics were worse quality.

Why would someone want to replicate an Astro van? Is that some kind of dream car in Japan? Are truck based, undustrial American vans sexier than I thought? Should I import a Ford E-Series van into Japan, or would I be mauled by the public who want to get a glimpse of my car?

Enough with the Wagon Rs...

These all appear to be variations of a similar theme, all appied to a Suzuki which I think is called the Wagon R. Anyway, lets start at the top.

This blue one is obviously aiming for the Von-Dutch style of modification. You know - the vintage custom look. The American versions are sometimes flat black, with chrome disk rims, sometimes lowriders. Like Jesse Jame's cars. Note the chrome disk wheels on the Suzuki, along with the delicate pinstriping, and the A&R Customs text on the side. It would look classy if it weren't applied to a car whose design seems inspired by a refrigerator. Usually, pinstriping accentuates the flowing lines of the car (when I say pinstriping, I mean the actually painted pinstripe artwork, not the vinyl stickers applied at dealerships). But this one has none.

Ad in the round, chromed headlights where the obviously square lights were, the chrome grille, side exhuasts, old style rear view mirrors, and the extra lame looking bumper (it's like a bumper on a bumper) and you have some true Japanese Retro Americana.

The pink one next down uses a similar formula but fails even worse. Strange - given the extra effort to remove the rear-most windows, and blend the new headlights into the front fenders. The main disappointments here are the stock hood, which (along with the grille) still shows that the stock headlights were waaaaay different than the units in there now. And it still has the stock (on the turbo models) hood scoop that could only be considered retro if you were recalling the 80's. It ends up looking like a "ricer" - Americana crossbreed.

Last but not least, the yellow version also appears to be looking back to but the 50's and the 80's. Again, a similar front end treatment. But this one has a 50's style chrome visor. However, the colour and striping on this car wouldn't look out of place on Miami Vice, or in California in the mid 80's. Stranger yet, it also has some classic style pinstriping too.