Buick Signia Concept

This monstrosity debuted at the 1998 Detroit Motor Show, possibly to prepare the public for the Pontiac Aztec show car that would appear in 1999 and eventually terrorize on public streets.

Looking a bit like an obese station wagon, the Buick Signia (why they cut off the "in" I'm not sure) is a bulky lump of unattractive organic curves, kind of like the older, shorter, fatter, uglier sister to the Buick Enclave. A better name would have been the Buick Rhino.

The car looks it's worst at the front end, where the lines of the car congregate to a strangely protruding nose, with the wide grille and tiny headlights resembling the vacant, gaping stare of a whale shark.

The Acura Grille / Shield / Beak / Eyesore

Acura's chrome beak - like Ford's razor grille - is a bone of contention for me. It's huge and in your face, yet unattractive and looks a bit like a Parrotfish snout. The Acura Advanced Sedan has the best visage to show this fishy coincidence.

For those who are wondering what the hell I'm talking about, Parrotfish are a species of fish who have fine teeth lining an external jaw bone, giving the appearance of a beak - hence the name.

Acura Advanced Sedan Concept

The Acura Advanced Sedan Concept is wrong on many levels. For one, the name is ironic (and lame - couldn't they have thought of something more imaginative?). Why? Well, from the front wheels back this "Advanced Sedan" looks almost exactly like the Lincoln Sentinel concept which debuted in 1996. A 10 year old design is hardly advanced.


And secondly, it introduced the world to Acura's hideous new face, which is especially hideous on this first iteration. I can not imagine what possessed them to continue on with this theme after seeing the result that is this car.


To clarify, I find the Lincoln to be menacing and mean. Something that you would see prowling the streets of Gotham City. Not fugly.

Fiat Ecobasic

Concept cars seem to offer an endless supply of fugly - going back through the years there's almost too many to choose from. I present to you the Fiat Ecobasic from 2004, an unfortunate concept that seems to draw some of it's looks from the Multipla. But where the Multipla had various beedy headlights poking out all over the front end, the Ecobasic has a gigantic light bar inspired by 1980's era Mercurys.

Changan e301

It's refreshingly unique for a Chinese brand I suppose. Still, this squinty-eyed car combines all the bad parts of the Sbarro X5 and Spada Codatronca to create an unattractive concept that looks like it could be terrestrial conveyance for Storm Troopers, if the AT-ATs and speeder bikes proved ineffective.

Attack of the Clones: Durango Fandango

I should start off by clarifying that my "Attack of the Clones" posts (admittedly a dated title, but I don't know if I should stop after using it for so long) aren't necessarily saying that the cars featured within are ugly. I realize this may be a bit confusing. I mean - the blog is about ugly cars. However it's mainly a blog where I vent on automotive style, so I think posting cars that tread previously travelled roads when it comes to style are ok to be featured. But I wanted to sure to clarify this, as I don't think the Dodge Durango is an ugly truck.

When Dodge teased shots of the new Durango (although I have to say I prefer the Magnum name, but I understand it's good to maintain consistancy), I thought the revised face was refreshingly attractive, yet masculine and bold. Plus I love the new divided cross hair grille (the new Dodge logo, not so much). I had high hopes from the rest of the truck, mainly because Chrysler corporation cars and trucks have been so disappointing for the past few years, especially since they were a high water mark for design in the 90's.

However, new that the shots of the entire truck have been released, I have to admit I'm a little let down. Not that it's ugly, but from the headlights back the flowing curves look remarkably like those on the Buick Enclave (of the two, I prefer the Durango however). I guess I was expecting something a little more butch, given the angry front end treatment. Although I suppose it's platform-mate the Grand Cherokee got the masculine square shouldered lines, so the Durango had to be unique to that end.

Which is strange considering the taillight treatment. Looking at the rear of both trucks, it's actually a bit hard to tell them apart. I suppose the reverse lamps/turn signal locations are flipped, but the shape of the trapezoid taillights are the same - and both have a chrome strip connecting them. I little variety wouldn't hurt, especially since the trucks share a majority of parts.

Sbarro Mercedes-Benz Gullwing Biturbo

Besides destroying the good looks of the W126 coupes, no Mercedes should ever slightly resemble 1980's Toyota Celicas, or have reworked bodywork thats cast reflections like funhouse mirrors. Or look like they've been sitting in an abattoir for a week. Seriously - if Sbarro intended this gullwing Mercedes coupe to be the spawn of the 300SL, it looks like it just tore it's way out of the womb, Alien style.

ReDONKulous

I professed my hatred of Donks back in 2005 before I even knew the correct terminology. However, they seem to upping the ante in absurdity lately. First I posted the Saftbaren Lexus, although I'm not sure if this is a Donk or is just a Donk looking creation (I'm not sure if the Donk lifestyle is thriving in Europe and/or Japan).

However, the Spongebob Squarepants Donk below appeared at last years SEMA show. And I found this facebook Donk on the internet. It seems Donk cars are becoming automotive shrines to popular culture. With unnecessarily big wheels.

Sbarro Espace Spider

Just digging up a few older files on my computer, saved during the period where I wasn't blogging. Minivans are not the first thing to come to mind when thinking of sporty vehicular transportion. With good reason. While they can be cool, most often they end up looking like failed science experiments. The Sbarro Renault Espace is an example of this.

And for the record - chopping off the top and windsheild of a vehicle does not instantly make it sporty or attractive.

Buick Century Tuner Edition

Long before Buick tried to reimagine the Regal as a sports sedan with it's thinly veiled Opel Insignia, Buick tried their hand up at releasing a sporty Century.