In Soviet Russia, car fugs you!

I didn't know Wings West made bodykits for Volgas. That thing is с крюка!

(That's a babelfish translation for "off the hook". It probably say something like "removed the handle").

From Russia, With Hate

Bondo. James Bondo.

The last Versaillies - I promise...

According to the internet, this mythical creature is a one off whose creator is trying to locate again. Why, I'm not sure. I would be trying to avoid being seen with it again. Maybe he wants to destroy the evidence.

This doesn't appear to be the Grandeur Custom, but a similar hackjob.

Classy Clown Car

What makes a warmed over Ford Granada that barely passes as a Lincoln better? Make it a coupe by hacking out half of the wheelbase, creating a half-baked clown car!

Behold the Tomaso coupe, which I hope to God has no affiliation with De Tomaso. This thing just looks brutal, and all the much worse for the weird notched body it has going on by the rear wheels. Looks like they gave up having it fit right. Sadly, there were more than one of these made. And someone did that to Cadillacs too.

Versailles Coupe - you know what they say about long hoods...

What makes a warmed over Ford Granada that barely passes as a Lincoln better? Stretching it before the windsheild, and then chopping it off at the rear doors making it look like a horrible science experiment gone wrong! Abominations like this shouldn't be allowed to survive, and should be killed with fire (and lots of it). This looks kinda familiar, though...

Behold the glory that is the Lincoln Versailles Grandeur Custom! Yes - I just recycled my last post. Just doing my part for the environment.

*NOTE* - I found another image of the black coupe on a brochure that called it the "Custom Royale" (with cheese?). Technically, think the white one is a Grandeur Custom, given the lack of louvers and the edition of fake tires (and the cabin looks slightly longer). Same idea though. Yes - more than one person thought this was a good idea.

Does your Lincoln Versaillies have a banana in it's bonnet or is it happy to see me?

What makes a warmed over Ford Granada that barely passes as a Lincoln better? Stretching it, and adding bonus trunks between the hood and the windsheild that aren't accessible by anyone not freakishly tall!

Behold the glory that is the Lincoln Versailles Premiere! Yes - today I discovered a wealth of Lincoln Neoclassic cars. A genre I thought was solely monopolized by Cadillac, it appears this is not the case. I will stay on the case to see whether this phenomenon is limited to only the lame Lincolns.

Ford Focus, Radioactive Money Edition. Now with Bonus Zombie Children!

Another eBay hit. This car is pretty standard ricer fare, which is ugly but not quite fugly (or uncommon, sadly). However this car gets the nudge into fugliness due to it’s airbrushed money that appears to either be radioactive or possessed with ghosts (due to the trails of ectoplasm), and the fact that it's on a clashing yellow body. Making things much more creepy is the ghostly visage in the front bumper - his child maybe. Besides being creepy, who would want to buy a car with someone elses ghostly zombie children airbrushed on it? Zombie pedobear?

UPDATE!

Adding a couple more pics - one of the other side showing zombie girl, and a close up of both the zombie children.

Ford Thunderbird, Mexican Pimp Edition

eBay to the rescue! It's once in a great while you come across a car this monumentally fugly simply browsing eBay. But this is proof is does happen. And this can be yours for the low, low price of $1500 (as of 2/12/2010!

I’ll start off by saying the post title is not intended to be a racial slur in any way. The car actually has Mexican flags painted all over it, leading me to believe the owner is of Mexican decent. Well - they're technically Italian I suppose, but the plates appear to be from New Mexico so I'm making the assumption the "artist" didn't bother to add the bit in the white portion that makes it Mexican. Maybe they’re Italian New Mexican. Speaking of the paint, it looks like the painter may still be in elementary school. Plus I don’t think the flowers are supposed to be see through. And is that Jesus the Pimp, flaunting his hos?


The paintwork is just one of the many remarkable fugtastic features of this car. The thing that hits you most upon setting your sights on this poor ‘Bird (and it hits your like a Mack truck) is it’s hacked up face. Like new Lincolns, it’s face is slightly reminiscent of old steam trains, especially with it’s splitter accented with chrome bars. It’s grille looks like it’s made of chromed twisted rod iron bars ripped from someone’s balcony. It also looks a bit like a psychedelic, real-life interpretation of the Bender werecar from Futurama…



Other than the front end, the body is relatively free of tacked on detail. That is, except for the antennae sprouting like cancerous tumors behind the driver’s door and the strangely organic rear bumper. And the pillow top roof – an interesting (and water absorbing) variation on velour roofs. The pillow fabric has also spread into the engine bay for some reason.



The interior is pretty much standard fair for some low-riders, which pillow cushions and mirrors everywhere. A couple additions of note however are the chandelier and throw pillow steering wheel (possibly an experimental safety device in the days before airbags?). Also - what does "Te Best" mean? I thought it maybe have been a typo (for "The Best"), but the license plate says that too...