A blog devoted to RANTS ON AUTOMOTIVE DESIGN, car reviews, and - above all - fugly autos. whether looking for vehicular plagiarism or rides of extreme tastelessness, you've come to the right place.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Sunfire + Custom Bodywork + $250 Buying Price = Win? No.

Wow... This is fugtastic. I mean - there isn't a single area of this car that isn't hideous or just plain confusing. I'll include quotes from the eBay listing below, as it's just as awesome as the car it's selling. There's a buy it now reserve of $250 - which has not been reached.

Oh - it has shaved handles though. A very important point worth noting in the listing title. Makes it all worth while I guess.

Starting off with the first photo of the listing, I'll let the listing explain what's going on here. Why you would start off with the most revolting view I don't know (well - I suppose the interior might be more revolting). However I do believe it took the most work.

"Originally silver, I have used black resin to protect the outside and was in the process of sanding it down. Installed a one of a kind spoiler."

Not sure what kind of protection she was going for, but how is slathering your car with black resin and then sanding it better than painting? Maybe she was going for the "made of clay by kindergarden students" look. Also, if by "one of a kind" you mean "one of the kind of spoilers all ricers put one their cars", then yes.

"There are no longer taillights. Instead are mustang taillights fabricated into the bumper."

Pretty self explanatory. Hideous... but self explanatory.


"Tires are a year old with 14" rims. Upon close inspection there are shaved door handles and trunk lock. It is all door poppers. There is a battery in the trunk of the car specifically for the poppers. Under the back of the bumper is an emergency release in case the door popper button was inside the car."

I suppose it's nice to allow burglars ease of entry. Then they won't smash your cool chrome windows. Oh - and those rims are baller.

"The shifter is on the dash board with the stereo of the floor of the car. As you will see in the picture I was designing a custom interior. In the CRAPPY BASIC stage."

OK - first off... They're building the console out of plywood? PLYWOOD?? I suppose the last gen Honda Civic Si kinda had it's shifter on the dash. So I can kinda see how someone might think it's a good idea to replicate. But this is an auto, and the up-down motion you now have to use must be very awkward. Plus I don't even want to know how they cobbled that up. Given the exterior appearance, I would guess not very well. I also love the sideways climate control, and the fact that the stereo is ON THE FLOOR. Yeah - that's real useful.


This is perhaps one of the more interesting quotes.

"I have fabricated a body kit for the front, rear, and sides. There are minor breaks in it due to it's settling, but nothing serious. I was trying for a seemless look. So I fiberglassed all the seems where pieces of the car meet."

Girlfriend, if your car's body is CRACKING, I don't think that's "nothing serious". Probably has to do with the fact that the plastic body panels all need a little give as they're more prone to vibration (especially bumpers), not to mention expanding and contracting with heat and cold.

This all is well an good, if the car didn't have mess of mechanical problems too. Including that it leaks oil, the instrument panel doesn't work (maybe because you removed the majority of the dashboard), it needs a head gasket replaced. Or so she thinks. It "burns off fluid quickly". What fluid I'm not sure. She goes on it mention, "I don't know exactly if the engine is shot or if the head gasket needs to just be replace. Fortunately, I am pregnant." Yes - that is fortunate. You're breeding.

I'll end this post with the following quote. Kinda sums it up nicely:

"So I am letting my project go to someone who may be able to fix it or laugh at it. Let me tell you, it's a piece of work."

That it is.

Chevrolet PT Loser



Apparently, the PT Cruiser is so rare and out of reach from most mortals that people have to transform out Chevy Blazers into poorly made versions of them. Sadly this conversion probably cost more than what you could pay for a used PT Cruiser. And doesn't Chevy already make this, anyway?

LEW Design "Big Bang"




First and foremost, the LEW Design Big Bang has one of the lamest and ill-fitting names ever. So let just get that out of the way. Secondly, the idea behind this car confuses me. Why would you spend upwards of $200,000 on a luxury exotic car, to spend even more to make it look like a lame knock-off of ANOTHER exotic car? I suppose $200,000 is a drop in the bucket compared to the +$1,000,000 pricetag of a Bugatti Veyron and this model ups the performance ante.

Also not great is that the styling not only recalls the Veyron but the Audi Rosenmeyer concept. And some Ferrari Scaglietti out back, but that's not really ugly - just a rip-off.

Mazda 3 is happy to see you



I was a big fan of the first Mazda3. I thought it set a high water mark for small car design, and was close to buying one. However much better mechanically the new Mazda3 is than the last, I can’t get over it’s maniacally grinning anime face. For one it just looks too damn happy. And for two, it’s just so obviously not actually a grille. This is especially obvious is lower rent models where most of the crosshatch faux grille is blocked off with black plastic. Plus it was a weird little chrome lip that makes it look like the car has braces or is wearing a retainer. Maybe they had to make the low end models look nerdier to make the higher end ones more attractive.