Chevy HHR - Hideous Huge Rip-Off

A long time ago in a galaxy far away, VW made the new Beetle. This is turn started a strange trend of retro cars, few of which are all that inspiring. When the PT Cruiser debuted people loved it and hated it. I'm on the fence.

Chevrolet got on the bandwagon with the SSR - a slow selling, um, thing. It was a sports car that wasn't because it was a pickup, and it was a pickup that wasn't because it tried to be a sports car (with a reeeeeally long truck). I was on the fence with the styling of that one too.

They they had an idea - lets make a PT Cruiser clone! It's successful! And so it isn't plagiarism, lets hire the guy who designed the PT! So out pops the HHR. Of course, directly compared they don't look like each other that much, but in theme and execution they're identical. They even have acronym/letter names! I don't recall what "PT" stands for, but it has to be better than the HHR's ridiculous acronym's meaning: Heritage High Roof. Ironically, the Ford Thunderbird was spawned in a similar way - the guy who designed the New Beetle designed it. Look closely at the style of the front air damn and the tails and you'll see the similarities.

But I'm off topic. My real meaning for posting was the remarkably similar rear and 3/4 views of the HHR and the Durango. I wonder if the PT guy designed the Durango too?

Caliber: Compass' Slightly More Attractive Sister

The Caliber shares it's platform with the Jeep Compass below, and is the main reason why the Jeep's definition of going off road is occasionally jumping a curb. However, the Caliber is a bit better looking, in a kind of shunken Magnum kind of way. However when you get to the rear, you notice it has an ass like Hank Hill. Basically the car seems to taper off to nothing, with huge taillights, that together look to be almost the width of the hatch. Not only does it make it look too narrow and top-heavy, it looks like it wouldn't handle good or hold much stuff. And it makes it look fugly. From the rear anyway.

BTW - the photos on the Dodge website naturally don't particularly show it's ugliness (why would they after all). To truely see the shrunken ass effect, look at one in person.

Jeepers that's Fugly

Introducing the 2007 Jeep Compass - the first obese Jeep. At least it looks that way, but it's actually the smallest and least off-road capable of the Jeep family. It's nice that they styled it too look that way. It looks bloated. Like a whale carcass.


Those huge wheel budges are the main cause - they take up the entire side of the vehicle. In the same way, the front bumper seems huge, especially when it rises on the edges to meet the turn signals.

* I should also note this is the only Jeep available NOT "Trail Rated". It's fraternal twin, the Jeep Patriot, is. And looks much, much better. So what exactly IS the point of the Compass?