Ugly Mother-Tucker

The horrifying beast you see here is one man’s attempt at recreating a Tucker Torpedo from a boat-tail Riviera. It’s gained a bit of notoriety on the internet as the late owner’s nephew is trying to unload it on some poor sap via eBay. As of this writing, the listing is closed with the current bid being $16,350, which is probably about $16,000 to much.

Features include: front fenders that turn with the front wheels (a novel feature allowing you to drive in more than straight lines), three headlights, swiveling front seats for ease of exit, “vinyl leather” upholstery, and motorized roof panels that raise for ease of exit (in case you’re built like Robert Wadlow).

Buick Signia Concept

This monstrosity debuted at the 1998 Detroit Motor Show, possibly to prepare the public for the Pontiac Aztec show car that would appear in 1999 and eventually terrorize on public streets.

Looking a bit like an obese station wagon, the Buick Signia (why they cut off the "in" I'm not sure) is a bulky lump of unattractive organic curves, kind of like the older, shorter, fatter, uglier sister to the Buick Enclave. A better name would have been the Buick Rhino.

The car looks it's worst at the front end, where the lines of the car congregate to a strangely protruding nose, with the wide grille and tiny headlights resembling the vacant, gaping stare of a whale shark.

Attack of the Clones: Durango Fandango

I should start off by clarifying that my "Attack of the Clones" posts (admittedly a dated title, but I don't know if I should stop after using it for so long) aren't necessarily saying that the cars featured within are ugly. I realize this may be a bit confusing. I mean - the blog is about ugly cars. However it's mainly a blog where I vent on automotive style, so I think posting cars that tread previously travelled roads when it comes to style are ok to be featured. But I wanted to sure to clarify this, as I don't think the Dodge Durango is an ugly truck.

When Dodge teased shots of the new Durango (although I have to say I prefer the Magnum name, but I understand it's good to maintain consistancy), I thought the revised face was refreshingly attractive, yet masculine and bold. Plus I love the new divided cross hair grille (the new Dodge logo, not so much). I had high hopes from the rest of the truck, mainly because Chrysler corporation cars and trucks have been so disappointing for the past few years, especially since they were a high water mark for design in the 90's.

However, new that the shots of the entire truck have been released, I have to admit I'm a little let down. Not that it's ugly, but from the headlights back the flowing curves look remarkably like those on the Buick Enclave (of the two, I prefer the Durango however). I guess I was expecting something a little more butch, given the angry front end treatment. Although I suppose it's platform-mate the Grand Cherokee got the masculine square shouldered lines, so the Durango had to be unique to that end.

Which is strange considering the taillight treatment. Looking at the rear of both trucks, it's actually a bit hard to tell them apart. I suppose the reverse lamps/turn signal locations are flipped, but the shape of the trapezoid taillights are the same - and both have a chrome strip connecting them. I little variety wouldn't hurt, especially since the trucks share a majority of parts.

Buick Century Tuner Edition

Long before Buick tried to reimagine the Regal as a sports sedan with it's thinly veiled Opel Insignia, Buick tried their hand up at releasing a sporty Century.

Super Stepside

Billed as "the ultimate pickup", the Super Stepside is a bit of an oxymoron - given that the donor "truck" for this kit is full-size GM sedans from the 80's.

I first saw and posted this kit in 2005. I correctly guessed what it was made of, but thought something that looked this horrid was a homemade one-off. But it's actually available to purchase as a kit. People actually bought them, as more than one exist.

Early models such as the one posted earlier don't appear to have headlights, while the one above has some pilfered from the exotic Chevy Malibu.

Pimp my Woody

The first Buick full-size SUV? Needs more TV.

Attack of the Clones: Honda's Buick Odyssey

So Honda's solution for the look of the newest Odyssey was basically be the front end of the second gen Odyssey, the rear end of the current Odyessey and slap them on the Buick Business Concept?

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I wish this fad would die...

This looks sooo stupid. It's like lowriders in reverse.

Downsizing Buick

In a shocking act of de-fugging, Buick (or should I say GM) is killing off two of it’s siblings. Actually - you might not have been aware there were two. The Rainier and Rendezvous look so similar you might have thought they were the same car.

Strangely though, Buick is keeping the Terraza "crossover" minivan. Cause you know - when I think American luxury I picture a minivan. Not only that, it no longer has a car that even resembles an SUV (well - Terraza looks like a Minivan pretending to be an SUV), which is strange given their popularity in this day of high gas prices.

The Rainier is a clone of the Chevy Trailblazer, GMC Envoy and the Saab 9-7X (and the also dead Oldsmobile Bravada). The Rendezvous is based on a modified platform that is used by the Terazza/SV6/Uplander/Relay, and is shared with the Aztec and Vue.

For those of you unfamiliar with the above: the Rainier is on top, followed by the Rendezvous with the Terraza last.

Chinese American Cuisine

I'm sure you're aware that most Chinese restaurants in North America are far from authentic. I'm talking deep fried chicken balls in Iodine #1046 sauce. It's America's take on Chinese cuisine in essence. Dumbed down for out tastes. Often referred to as American Chinese cuisine.

In the car world, this happens as well. Although the Chinese are new to carmaking, the Japanese have been doing it for a while. American Camrys and Accords are bigger than their Japanese counterparts. The Avalon is a 6 seater created for the American market.

Due to the flood of car makers rushing to the Chinese automotive scene as the country gets their licenses, GM decided it had to have a chunk of the scene. It's using Buick. What you see below are the Chinese Buicks. GM thought long and hard and designed a whole new lineup for the country. AKA they took some Daewoos and rebadged them. Nothing could be further from what a Buick is meant to be. Harvey Earle must be rolling in his grave. Spinning even. As fast as a tornado (or Toronado).

El Crappo

The first of hopefully many fugly car pictures I have taken personally. This entry is a home made El Camino, sort of. I say sort of because it's a Buick (not sure of the model - bad with 1980s Buicks). I wish I had taken more pictures of it - it looks far more home made from the rear. No tailgate, and it looks like it was made from pieces of a station wagon.

Attact of the Clones

I wouldn't say they were fugly, so I don't know if this really applies. But isn't the Buick LaCrosse eerily reminescent of a Ford Taurus?