Great Flaming Corollas

The Toyota Corolla is not exactly an engaging vehicle. Seeing one does not cause pre-teen boys to take chase, so why it would form the basis of riceburner I’m not sure. Especially a fog-lights-lacking low end automatic. If there’s anything good to say, it’s that a better car was saved from being the canvas for these unfortunate modifications. This car is a bit of a cross genre piece. For the most part it’s a ricer with a carbon fibre spoiler, headlights and hideous projectile taillights, as well as some very “Hot Wheels” flames applied to it’s sides. A couple features set it apart though, including the “aluminum pie plate” dubs and a giant naked angel airbrushed on the hood. I think it’s an angel – could be a skank lying on top of a giant dove. Plus there’s bonus hidden fug, as lifting the hood reveals a menacing visage painted on the underside of the hood. I especially like how all three pieces of artwork – the flames, the airbrushing and the hidden face – all clash with each other and are seemingly unrelated.

Mercedes-Benz Corolla

I almost thought it was an E Class. With the round headlights and all.

Fibreglass ≠ Glass

Just because it's called fibreglass doesn't mean you can see through it.

VolksBling

There was a time when Volkswagens were no-nonesense German transportation for the masses. And I’m not talking decades ago either.

In the last generation Passat and the facelift of the last generation Jetta, there was a frightening change in the styling. Chrome. Yes - they started sprucing up their models by not-so-liberally slapping chrome everywhere they could. It’s most obvious in the Jetta, as it was basically the same car with chrome bands added to the bumpers, bump strips on the doors and the grille (the Passat had a facelift along with the chromification so it wasn't as obvious or lame). Refer to the top pic for the Jetta chromification. I was frightened things would get worse, and the classic looks of Volkswagens would be ruined forever under a sea of 1950-70’s era chrome appendages that plagued American cars.

I did get worse, but in another way as well.

Slightly evident in their last generations, Volkswagens were moving upscale into a "mini-Audi" realm. The Jetta had much more content and luxury than previous generations, and the last gen Passat actually used a stretched Audi A4 platform. And of course their prices were rising too. However, now they even LOOK like Audis. Chrome slathered Audis.

It started in the new Jetta. Well - technically in the new Golf GTI that hasn’t come over yet. It’s that damn Audi "horse collar" grille. Except on Audi’s it most often looks good, and on Volkswagens it looks out of place, particularly on the Jetta/Golf. Like it was stuck on as an afterthought. The Jetta is worse off than the Golf (in fact, the basic Golfs have no Audi-grille at all). The Jetta is mainly built for North America, and it seems that therefore it must have tons of chrome. Mainly in the form of the Audi-takeoff grille and the tacky clear lense taillights. The GTI/GLI is possibly even worse off, as it grille shape is accentuated by black paint that just looks cheap.

While overall the look of the Jetta isn’t bad, it doesn't seem to look like a Volkswagen to me. It looks Japanese. The whole body save the front end looks almost like a Toyota Corolla. And those clear-lense taillights look needlessly elaborate (but then I suppose the whole car exterior is needlessly elaborate). That taillight trend started with the Toyota Altezza and in my opinion should have died a long time ago.

The new Passat looks a bit more cohesive, but at the same time looks all that much more like an Audi. In particular, the A6.

I guess all this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but what ever happened to the time when a brand had it’s own identity and style, instead of stealing someone else glory (even if it is a sister company)?