Pulled to the Limits of Taste

The Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman is an iconic car - one of the most expensive and lavish cars of it's time. It's a shame to see even one of the 2,677 made between 1964 and 1981 end up as the neoclassic disaster pictured below.

This particular car was made by the firm "B+B Auto Exclusive" in 1980 for King Khalid of Saudi Arabia.  And if you think it couldn't get any uglier, the king originally requested a paint job consisting of a red base covered with white dots. The neoclassic design partially hid the large footboards, made so that security guards could hang off the side of the car.

Mild de-fugging: 2013 Lincoln MKT

I previously posted my hatred of the Lincoln MKT on this site.  Thought I would update my opinion on the matter now that Ford has facelifted it's high-riding minivan for 2013.

Although it's an improvement, it's pretty evident that nothing short of a complete reskin will save this bloated vehicle from looking like a whale.  To make matters worse, the revised grille looks even more like baleen than it did before...

In short:  it looks better, but the end result is akin to Rosie O'Donnell getting a nose job. A couple tweaks won't save the rest of the disaster.

SLdorado

Again, not sure why exactly.  500SL + 1960 Cadillac = Wrong.

Merry Christmas

Yeah, I'm a bit late.  Merry Christmas from AutoFug.

Bondo Slipper

Is this Redneck Cinderella's ride to the ball or her bondo slipper?  Damn - Snow White Trash is a better pun but it doesn't fit the storyline...

Angry Golf is Angry

This Golf looks like a caricature of itself.  In fact, it kind of looks like the angry face emoticon.  Also, this is the reason people don't use Chrysler Sebrings as parts cars for boy racer customization... 

Baby Beluga

These pictures make me sad...   What appears to be either a bloated Fiat 500 or a beached beluga whale is actually a heavily modified Tatra T603 coupe.  While Tatras aren't for everyone, I'm sure few would actually consider this an improvement.

For those unfamiliar with Tatra, they're a Russian car brand that was famous for their rear engined cars and being pioneers in aerodynamics, even possibly influencing early Porsche designs.

Longhorn?

Any help identifying this would be greatly appreciated.  I stumbled across these pics looking for something else and they had no captioning.  The pics were titled "Longhorn" and the plates are from Texas.  Not sure what it's made of other - it looks like the stretched offspring of an Auburn and farm equipment.

Fleetwoodsman

Not really sure what's going on here.  I think this is a late 50's GM truck with it's roof chopped off and a Cadillac welded to the bottom.  Whatever it is it has some severe muffintop going on.

The Troll

Hard to come up with a clever title for this one, as the car was actually named the Troll.

Although it seems few people have ever heard of the Troll, this little 2+2 fiberglass "sports coupe" was actually one of the first attempts to start a car company in Norway.  Chevrolet had just introduced the Corvette in North America, and no one in Europe had yet used cost effective fiberglass for car bodies.  Unfortunately the end result was this little flat-nosed Saab-looking car with Mercedes 300SL flourishes that was about as attractive as it's namesake.  Powered by a 700cc 30hp Gutbrod engine, only 5 were made between 1956 and 1958.

Although ambitious, it proved to amount to little more than a precursor to the AMC Gremlin - an ugly little car with an ugly name.

Who need Carbon Fibre when you can use Carbonite

Someone call Luke Skywalker - Han Solo is trapped under the hood of this car.

K-Car Envy

This one is interesting… These early Daewoo cars were essentially GM of Europe products. The Imperial was basically an upscale Daewoo Royale, which itself is little more than an Opel Rekord with the front end of the larger Opel Senator stuck on. However the Imperial is featured here as the designers oddly decided to style the upscale version of the European GM product as if it were an American Chrysler. A K-Car at that… Even the name is shared with the last K-Car based Imperial of the early 90s. Strange fact – the Daewood Imperial production began in 1989 (and ran through 1993), while the K-Car Chrysler Imperial was built between 1990 to 1993. However, the very similar looking New Yorker / Fifth Avenue were produced throughout the 80s.

Why was Daewoo selling GMs in the first place? A little back story… It all starts in 1976, when GM partnered with Shinjin Industrial Company to sell GM cars in South Korea, under the name Saehan Motor Company. However shortly afterward the fell into financial problems, with Daewoo group taking a large stake in the company in a 1978. Saehan Motor Company was renamed Daewoo Motor Company in 1983. So I guess GM buying Daewoo 20 years later was just a matter of things coming full circle.

 Devolved Inspiration: Daewoo took the K-Car route with it's upscale product - sharp creases and loads of chrome and vinyl.

Spawn of Spohn

Carosseriebau Hermann Spohn was a German coachbuilder, founded in 1920. Due to it’s formation coinciding with the launch Maybach brand, and it’s close proximity to it’s manufacturing plant, Spohn soon became Maybach's favored coachbuilder. In it’s early days, these cars were indeed beautiful, sporting low rooflines with typically flowing fenders of the periods most attractive cars.

Above: 1952 Spohn Palos, based on a 1940 Ford. This picture was taken during restoration, but returning it to it's original glory won't fix it's awkward lines. Below: A Lincoln rebodied by Spohn.

But as the 50’s drew near, Spohn began to favour aerodynamics and excessive ornamentation, resulting in some very strange looking cars. Trademarks include heavyhanded styling: thick front fenders with low set headlights on either side of a low and steepy sloped front end (usually featuring a garish almost horizontal grille), and gigantic but heavy looking fins out back (usually trailing way behind the rear wheels on an lengthened rear end). Although these were early attempts at aerodynamic aids, they definitely didn’t look sleek. One of the worst offenders was the BMW powered Veritas roadster – an attractive car without the Spohn costume. Another you may recall from this blog previously are some of the gaudy and unfortunately named Gaylord cars. Spohn closed down in 1957.

 The Spohn BMW Veritas roadster.  Also in a state of restoration, but also also extremely fugly regardless of whether it was in pristine condition.

This period photo of the Spohn BMW Veritas roadster when new really shows it's awkward front grille.

The Chevy Chevy

Yes, you're reading that right (again). I was recently introduced to these on a recent trip to Mexico. Not sure of the reasoning behind the repetitive name of the Chevrolet Chevy (possibly a half-assed attempt to assure public that this car is actually a Chevrolet), but it's basically continual rehashes of outdated Opel products, not unlike the Soviets tended to do to Fiats.

Immensely popular down there, the Chevy Chevy began life in 1994 as a simple rebadge of the Opel Corsa B, which debuted in 1993. However, where the Corsa evolved into the Corsa C in 2000, the Chevy Chevy soldiered on unchanged. That is, until 2004, when it received a slightly updated face. This look lasted for 4 years, and was more heavily revised in 2008 to the horrible looking car you see here. Similar to what Chevrolet attempted with the Aveo (but less successfully, if that's even possible), they managed to graft on the now corporate "gigantic Chevrolet split grille".

Things will change soon, however. 2012 is the last model year for the Chevy Chevy, as it's slated to be replaced by the Spark. The gigantic split grille will soldier on, albeit in a more attractive body.

2012 Chevrolet Cobalt

Yes, you are reading that right. Chevrolet has decided to further drag the Cobalt name through the dirt and attach it to an ugly little car destined for South America that looks a lot like an Aveo with a Malibu nose uncomfortably shrink wrapped to the front. Luckily, we'll never see it.

1979 Kanzler

I can’t find much info on this car, other than the fact that it’s an Opel GT stretched to the limits of sanity. It’s powered by a 351 Ford V8 (not sure if it could even sustain forward motion with the original powerplant as it now weighs over 4400 pounds), and somewhat ironically Liberace owned one of this vaguely phallic looking cars. The grille breaks ground in the neoclassic world, in that it appears it could have been had without one.

Leata Cabalero

Leata started off innocently enough, producing microcars in the 1975 with an innocent 1940’s era look to them, much less offensive to look at then the sudden influx of microcars that appeared 20-25 years prior. Sadly things went awry, and a total of 22 cars were produced in what ended up being it’s only model year. The main issue was mostly likely price – this hand built car was tiny and pricy. At $3,295, it cost $500 more than a Pinto, a car that dwarfed it and to most offered a lot more for less money.

Then things got strange. Not willing to give up, the founder restarted production with the car above. It was still small, but instead of being hand built and inoffensive, it became an offensive rebody of a car that isn’t necessarily a shining beacon of quality – the Chevrolet Chevette.

Taking the standard styling cues of neoclassic cars that were all the rage in the 1970s (Rolls inspired grille and front end treatment, fenders flares, vinyl roofs), it had the appearance of a squashed Monte Carlo or Grand Prix. It could even be had with the world’s most awkward looking opera windows. Also available was a slightly better looking pickup, also based on the Chevette (basically looking like the Cabalero coupe with a C/K tail grafted on). Even with this cheaper construction method, the company still lost money on every car it sold.

Fisker Karma

I don't have anything against the Fisker Karma.  Ignoring the fact that it gets mediocre mileage for an "electric" car, and that it weighs almost as much as an Escalade. It's a beautiful sedan.  However, it felt a bit familiar when I first saw it.  Only when leafing through an old magazine did I realize why - it shares some lines with the 1991 Chrysler 300 Concept car, that was effectively a Chrysler branded 4 door Dodge Viper.

You'll note in the above paragraph I stated that it's a beautiful sedan.   There's a reason I clarified.  The Fisker Karma Surf concept that was unveiled at the 2011 Frankfurt Auto Show wasn't exactly a home run.  The sleek lines of the sedan don't exactly translate to wagon form all that well.  The tapered cabin ends in a very narrow backlight that ends up looking squished, as do the windows aft of the rear doors.  This is all capped off with the world's most unnecessarily over-styled hatchback.  I cleaned it up a bit in Photoshop below - it's surprising how much better it looks.

Civic Fugliness Crosses the Ocean

I was a huge fan of the last generation European Civic. It was odd, but in a funky spaceship kind of way. Like it was sent from the future. The 2012 European Honda Civic takes a page from the 2012 North American Honda Civic, in that it's an evolution of the last generation more than a complete reboot. Although in my eyes, it's a bit of a de-evolution.

Where the previous generation was a sleek little space pod, the new one looks like it melted a bit on re-entry. The chiseled lines are now smoother and more organic, but unfortunately now it looks more like a crouching frog than something from outer space.  The taillights have also move vertically, which makes it look a bit tall and narrow when viewed from the rear.  It's almost as if Honda took the worst part of the CRZ and the Hyundai Veloster and called it a day...