PT Loser

While finding pictures of the PT Cruiser on Chrysler's website, I came across a link to "Customize your PT Cruiser". I clicked it, think I could make some horrible creation and post it. Bizarrely, it seems as if it's tailored to making your PT Cruiser fugly. Honestly, it's quite hard to make a tasteful one. It's almost sad, and I don't exactly see the point in having it on the website in the first place. Here are a few examples:

The Sunshark

I've managed to stumble across pictures of a local legend. I've seen this car for years, in a slow progress of growth and "enhancement". Not unlike a tumor.

There are so many small yet equally impressive things to note about this particular, having seen it in the flesh, that I feel the need to note them one at a time.

Picture 1:

1. It's a Sunfire, and it has 4 doors. The perfect car for hot-rodding. Or "ricing" if you prefer.
2. It has two aftermarket, non-functional hood scoops.
3. Those hood scoops' "openings" have been painted metallic gold (note this as it appear elsewhere).
4. For a stylistic touch, the hood scoops appear to be on the "backwards", in that they angle down toward the corners of the car, not the centre.
5. The windsheild wiper arms are also painted metallic gold.
6. As are the stock grille mesh.
7. Canadian Tire aftermarket fog lamps are always classy, especially those blue ones that look like alien eyes.
8. It has a car bra, to protect those vital parts from chipping (I HATE car bras).
9. Note the black over stock paint colour, with random triangles cutting down into the stock gold body colour.
10. The car is on steel rims. PLEASE NOTE: here in Canada, people offen change into steel rims for winter tires and this picture could have been taken during that time. The grass is quite green, but the hardwoods have no leaves leading me to believe this was taken in spring. ALSO PLEASE NOTE: Similarly enhanced car sometimes are only equipped with hubcaps, which are removed in winter to give the illusion of actually having purchased real, non-plastic rims.
11. This precious automobile is double parked.

*UPDATE: This car (as of last week) now has 17" rims, which are not fugly (if you look at them without looking at the car as well).

Picture 2:

1. The Spoiler - what gives this car it's soul, and it's nickname - The Shark. The random paint triangles begin to make sense (sort of). Although I'm not sure yet whether this is a tribute to sharks or surfboards. At any rate, I'm sceptical of it's aerodynamic potential.
2. Said spoiler is made of WOOD.
3. Gigantic vinyl Pontiac emblem, a must have for any visually enhanced Sunfire.
4. Banded taillights, made with electrical tape.
5. Wheel locks on the steel wheels. While this is indeed hilarious by itself, the owner may have possessed aluminum rims with summer tires, and was using the steel rims for winter tires as noted above. If so, he probably would have used the same nuts to hold on both rims, and the locking nut would be for the aluminum rims, not the steel ones currently installed.

Picture 3:

1. Although I upped the contrast to see the interior better, the wiper arms are clearly visible here.
2. Classy painted interior bits; in gold (what appears to be metallic gold actually).
3. Canadian Tire (or Walmart?) steering wheel cover. It's yellow - close enough to gold. A bit off though from the colour scheme as a whole.
4. Random box atop the dask, painted to match.
5. Asian themed red seat cover with dragon.

Chevy HHR - Hideous Huge Rip-Off

A long time ago in a galaxy far away, VW made the new Beetle. This is turn started a strange trend of retro cars, few of which are all that inspiring. When the PT Cruiser debuted people loved it and hated it. I'm on the fence.

Chevrolet got on the bandwagon with the SSR - a slow selling, um, thing. It was a sports car that wasn't because it was a pickup, and it was a pickup that wasn't because it tried to be a sports car (with a reeeeeally long truck). I was on the fence with the styling of that one too.

They they had an idea - lets make a PT Cruiser clone! It's successful! And so it isn't plagiarism, lets hire the guy who designed the PT! So out pops the HHR. Of course, directly compared they don't look like each other that much, but in theme and execution they're identical. They even have acronym/letter names! I don't recall what "PT" stands for, but it has to be better than the HHR's ridiculous acronym's meaning: Heritage High Roof. Ironically, the Ford Thunderbird was spawned in a similar way - the guy who designed the New Beetle designed it. Look closely at the style of the front air damn and the tails and you'll see the similarities.

But I'm off topic. My real meaning for posting was the remarkably similar rear and 3/4 views of the HHR and the Durango. I wonder if the PT guy designed the Durango too?

Caliber: Compass' Slightly More Attractive Sister

The Caliber shares it's platform with the Jeep Compass below, and is the main reason why the Jeep's definition of going off road is occasionally jumping a curb. However, the Caliber is a bit better looking, in a kind of shunken Magnum kind of way. However when you get to the rear, you notice it has an ass like Hank Hill. Basically the car seems to taper off to nothing, with huge taillights, that together look to be almost the width of the hatch. Not only does it make it look too narrow and top-heavy, it looks like it wouldn't handle good or hold much stuff. And it makes it look fugly. From the rear anyway.

BTW - the photos on the Dodge website naturally don't particularly show it's ugliness (why would they after all). To truely see the shrunken ass effect, look at one in person.

Jeepers that's Fugly

Introducing the 2007 Jeep Compass - the first obese Jeep. At least it looks that way, but it's actually the smallest and least off-road capable of the Jeep family. It's nice that they styled it too look that way. It looks bloated. Like a whale carcass.


Those huge wheel budges are the main cause - they take up the entire side of the vehicle. In the same way, the front bumper seems huge, especially when it rises on the edges to meet the turn signals.

* I should also note this is the only Jeep available NOT "Trail Rated". It's fraternal twin, the Jeep Patriot, is. And looks much, much better. So what exactly IS the point of the Compass?

Elantra Fug, Pt. 2

I think the pictures explain this for themselves. Hyundai Elantras are not usually the prime choice for lowriders, but even if they were this is one of the ugliest lowriders I've seen. If the Grim Reaper drives this, then people probably die from laughter and not his sickle.

Aftermarket Elantra Fug

Sadly, Hyundai doesn't seem to have a huge aftermarket following. Meaning many of the people who do try to modify them do so with what they can, and the results aren't always the greatest. Examples follow...

First off - this isn't too bad, except for the transport truck grille stuck to the front. Sadly, most Elantras and Hyundais in general suffer from owners who paste on acres of chrome.

Second is this interior pic (from a separate car). I personally love how the painted blue dash clashes with the wood steering wheel, which clashes with the red leather shifter boot, which clashes with the purple shifter knob. Giving the colour coordination, the exterior is probably a suitable matching colour - like yellow.

Flawless 1950 Ford Recreation

Believe it or not, this is a kit that you can buy and I have seen several version floating around eBay. And what car is better suited to the flowing, bulbous lines of 1950's automobiles than the flat-sided and blocky last generation Thunderbird.

New (Old?) Interior Fabrics, Pt. 1

Of all the riced out Civics I saw (online) at SEMA this year, this was by far the worst. And it's not just because of it's purple camo paint job, but for it's equally tacky DENIM interior trim. Denim as anything but clothing should have been outlawed as soon as the 80's ended on January 1st, 1990. Although AMC seemed to have some success with the concept in the 70's. But who wants to emulate AMC?

New Interior Fabrics, Pt. 1

It seems the newest automotive trend for cars is to skin prostitutes and use their hides to dress the interiors of cars.