A blog devoted to RANTS ON AUTOMOTIVE DESIGN, car reviews, and - above all - fugly autos. whether looking for vehicular plagiarism or rides of extreme tastelessness, you've come to the right place.


Monday, June 06, 2011

Brooke Swan Car

Almost too absurd to be real, but it indeed was. It was conceived by the wealthy British engineer Robert Nicholl "Scotty" Matthewson in 1909, most likely because he was living in Swan Park, Calcutta. Matthewson travelled to England and commissioned the Brooke company of Lowestoft, Suffolk to make the car, with wooden body built by Savage of Kings Lynn, maker of fairground rides. The swan's head and body are carved with intricate feather detailing, and cover the radiator and hood.

Not only did it look bizarre, it also some unique (and frightening) mechanical details. Amber eyes glowed eerily in the night. Hot water sprayed from the swan's beak, scalding passersby so the car could navigate the crowded streets of India. The car even an exhaust driven organ so Mr. Matthewson could play chords an d bugle cars, and annoy the general public. Perhaps the most bizarre though was a dump valve the dropped splats of whitewash on the road. Yes - a car that s***s. Just to make it more lifelike. Just like a swan. That spits scalding water. And whose eyes glow in the dark. Not sure what kind of swans they have in India...

Abhorred Cord


An 84 Oldsmobile Toronado made into a Cord knockoff. The Cord Model 810 was one of the most beautiful and advanced cars of it's time. This is not. Although I suppose they both share front wheel drive architecture. This one seems to be more ill-conceived than most neoclassic cars, which is really saying something...

1959 Scimitar All-Purpose Sedan


Who would have thought a car with such a dull name would look so, um, not dull. Built on a 1959 Chrysler New Yorker 8-cylinder chassis, it's the nightmare equivalent of an Edsel. Apparently it was a concept, built mainly to showcase the use of aluminum components. The grille and most body panels were aluminum – the silver areas of the body were anodized brushed aluminum.

1955 Flajole Forerunner

The 1955 Flajole Foreunner was formed from remarkably unfugly origins. Starting with a svelte Jaguar XK120, Bill Flajole – designer of the Nash Metropolitan – designed and fitted this overwrought and cartoonish body. One of it's more dramatic features was a plexiglass roof that slid into the windowless bubble of a rear end. It's also worth noting that it's white fender "coves" appeared a full year before they did on the 1956 Corvette.

Through Space and Time...



Recently posting the Mohs SafariKar in a "Guess That Car" thread on Car & Driver Backfires, someone pointed out it's similarity (with the door open) to the Mini Rocketman concept - two cars featured on this site. And - amazingly - they do look remarkably similar exposing themselves. Proving that bad idea also withstand the test of time.

Daihatsu Ugli

The Daihatsu Opti Classic is one numerous neoclassic Japanese small cars produced by the manufacturers themselves. Not content to allow customers to go to companies like Mitsuoka for their taste in the bizarre. The Mazda 3 has nothing on these tooth grins. The first generation Opti Classic is pictured above, the second below.

Vignale Silver Wreck


This 1954 Vignale Bodied Rolls-Royce Silver Wraith is further proof that coachbuilt cars don't necessarily look better than the cars they're based off of. This car looks like someone accidentally dropped a Rolls-Royce onto a '57 Chevy.

2012 Chevrolet Impala


Behold the 2012 Chevrolet Impala facelift, meant to revitalize the car until it's replacement comes in the "near future". Basically, this is the facelift equivalent of shaving. Or growing stubble, if chrome mesh equates manliness.

Not fugly in the truest sense of the word, but if the automotive design world evolved at the same rate as the Impala cars would still have fenders separate from the body(no offense, Caterham). At least the car also gains some much needed improvements under the skin, including a more powerful and fuel efficient V6 3.6L engine that makes similar power to the previous V8 SS, and two extra gears in the automatic transmissions (bringing the number to a finally current 6 gears).

Drive one today at your nearest Hertz rent-a-car.

Friday, June 03, 2011

I bought a 2011 Elantra


So I ended up trading in my old 2004 Elantra GT for a new 2011 Elantra GL sedan. I'll miss my old hatchback fake Saab...

In Loving Memory

I thought this would be a good time to discuss how life with the new car has been thus far, given that I already gave my initial driving impressions.

The car I picked up is a model not available in the US. In Canada there's the bottom feeder L model, lacking A/C, yet still including power windows and locks, traction control, and a CD player with auxiliary inputs. The GL I picked up (with a 6 speed manual) ads to this heated front (cloth) seats, Bluetooth connectivity, steering wheel audio controls, trip computer, larger 16" steel wheels (with hubcaps), and a telescopic steering wheel. The latter I embarrassingly didn't realize my car had until now - thought that was a GLS feature. The GL lacks the GLS model's heated rear (cloth) seats, aluminum rims, fog lights, sunroof and other small details. The Limited ads to this leather, navigation, keyless entry, a chrome grille (I actually prefer the stock grille), amongst other details.

The hubcaps do a pretty good imitation of aluminum rims. The headlights are a bit large, sweeping back overtop of the front wheels. But they're beautifully detailed and the swept back look fits in with the character of the car.


First things first, I think it's safe to say I don't find this car fugly. Given it's extreme new looks, I'm sure there are others on the opposite side of the fence. I personally dig the evil smile the car has, and the design overall is very cohesive, but I went over that before. My only beef on the outside is the aforementioned lack of fog lights, although the black plastic fog light voids don't look too bad. The 16" wheels look a bit small, but at least the hubcaps manage to look convincingly like aluminum rims.

Controls in the centre stack are intuitive and well located, especially the stacked rotary climate controls shown on the right. The audio control can be a bit of a reach, but thankfully there are controls on the steering wheel.


Inside, the interior continues to impress. It's an attractive two tone layout, with soft touch materials (at least on the top most surfaces, and the ones you interact with most) and well damped controls. The stacked rotary climate control is as beautiful as it is easy to use. It's extremely intuitive - you need nothing more than a glance to adjust it. The 6 speaker stereo also has a good sound and has all the features you would now expect, with USB and auxilary inputs. These are hidden under a cover in the centre console with a power outlet so they're easily at hand by can be hidden from sight. Speaking of power outlets, there's also one for the front passenger, in a little pocket to hold their cell phone. The steering wheel controls are a god-send as well, saving you from having to fiddle with the main controls, which I find to be a bit a of a stretch to reach. However they are highly visible and mostly intuitive, and this display is large and easy to read. All in all, the swoopy design inside and out and a smaller diameter steering wheel give a sporty coupe type of impression, even though that's not really the feedback you get actually driving it. I've read of others complaining about lack of visibility and rear blind spots, but I find it no worse than my last daily driver. It's A-pillars are a bit thick, but I'm driven many cars far worse in this regard (cough-Caliber-cough).


Room inside the car is expansive, yet I can't vouch for rear seat passengers as I haven't had any. You do have to duck a bit to get in the rear doors because of the roofline however, and I imagine taller passengers might have a bit less headroom. The trunk is pretty huge, and the pass through when you fold the seats is quite large for a sedan. However the seatbelts do cross this void as mentioned before, and the trunk hinges are large goosenecks that cut a deep swath into your trunk space when it's closed.

There's a fair amount of room in back, and passengers get door mounted cup holders as well as two in the fold down armrest. Gooseneck hinges cutting into the trunk space are visible when viewed through the trunk pass through.

There are some interior quibbles though, starting with the stereo. For a stereo that allows so many options to play digital files, there is no folder browsing buttons on the steering wheel. You can browse between songs and adjust the volume, but if you want another folder you have to reach over to the dash. I have yet to find a "shuffle" option as well. Right now I have 2 Gigs worth of albums hooked up via a USB drive - if you have things sorted in folder by album, you have no choice but to listen to them straight through. The new interior is a lot larger than my old car, and although roomy I find that my elbows don't easily fall at hand with the armrests on the console and door as they're too far away (although at the right level). Telescoping the steering wheel some might help that... There's also less storage space than I'm used to in the dash. Possibly due to making more room for the front seat occupants (as the console looks narrow) but more likely a result of form following function. Oh - and the seat fabric feels and looks a little cheap. I'm not sure that it is, but I would have preferred more of a woven look.

Now an update on driving dynamics... As I mentioned before the steering feels a bit overboosted, but not as bad as some car's I've driven lately. It's weighted pretty nicely though, but I still wish for more feedback. The 148hp 1.8L engine is standard across the lineup, and puts down pretty good power, although it prefers to hang out in the higher rpm - max hp arrives at 6500rpm, and max torque at 4700rpm. Although Hyundai boasted a pretty substantial weigh reduction compared to the previous model, this new car weighs about the same as my 2004 model. With only 10 more hp and 7 lb/feet less torque, there isn't much of a noticeable difference in performance. If anything, it feels slower due to the fact that there's less torque down low, and because of the tall gearing of the 6-speed manual.

Seats folded, but unfortunately the centre belt remains. The seats don't fold flat either, but the pass through is large for a sedan.

Speaking of the transmission, it's relatively easy to use with smooth shifter action, short throws and a well defined gate that makes it almost impossible to choose the wrong gear by mistake. But because of the taller gearing than I'm used to, I find I often shift too early (especially 1st to second) which sometimes results in little lag. Although clutch takeup is smooth, I feel it's difficult to feel where the sweet spot is. The gas pedal also conspires against you in this regard, as it's unlike the rest of the pedals in that it's floor mounted (possibly a reaction to Toyota's sticky gas pedals) and it has a little bit of a dead zone when you first step on it which can make 1st gear starts a little tricky until you're accustomed. That being said though, I just had to get used to the new driving style. Another Canadian tid-bit about the manual transmission - because there are more options packages in Canada, the manual is available with more features than the US. The manual is available in all but the Limited model, which means you can pretty much have loaded shift-for-yourself Elantra. Not with leather on anything but the steering wheel, unforunately.

The rear wheel arches look a bit bulbous from behind, but the indent on the bottom bumper does a good job of shading the lower portion of the bumper, reducing the visual height gained out back from the rakish greenhouse.

As for handling characteristics, I find them a bit hard to describe. The car is definately tuned to the softer side of life floating over minor bumps and imperfection - it feels a bit more mature than my last car. But at the same time, it seems to corner flatter than my old car (although pushing too hard results in understeer which starts to intrude a bit earlier). Although smaller road warts are taken with ease, the car seems to clomp through larger ones - some of them even upsetting the tracking of the car a bit.

Fuel economy so far has been great. Not near the posted EPA quotes, but better than some of the reviews I've read have gotten. For some reason, the car is rated more fuel efficient in Canada than in the US. Canadian models with the manual are rated at 6.8L/100km city, 4.9L/100km highway, with automatic models ranking 0.1L/100km higher. This works out to 34mpg city / 48mpg hwy. US cars are rated at 29mpg city /40mpg hwy regardless of transmission. On my first highway trip in the relatively virgin car (34kms on the odometer), I averaged 6L/100km driving 100km/h for most of the drive, with periods at 110km/h. My second trip taken a couple weeks ago I averaged 5.8L driving a steady 110km/h. Same roads, but opposite direction. I suppose this difference could be attributed to many factors, but it's possible the car will get better mileage with age. Oh - and to note, 5.8L/100km is 40.5mpg, meaning my car was getting slightly above the US average highway figure. In day to day driving however, I average 6.8-7.1L/100km (34-33mpg), depending on how much city driving I do. I've never seen it go above 7.3 though. My daily commute however contains a fair bit of highway driving mixed with 80km/h backroads and stop and go city traffic. So it's far from a good city driving estimate.

My final opinions thus-far? I'm satisfied in my purchase. It's a much more comfortable place to be than my last car, and at $18,000 CAD (before taxes and destination), it's also comfortable on my wallet. There are cheaper cars out there, but I found it difficult to find one with the same level of equipment, let alone the same level of interior finish. In the end most faults I've found tend to be relatively minor, and are overshadowed the car's better qualities.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Volkswagen Passé

The new for 2012 VW Passat also follows Volkswagen’s new North American strategy of offering more for less. While the Jetta is basically them same car they get overseas (with a much worse interior), the Americanized Passat is an entirely different beast. While they get a reworked version of the current Passat, we get a completely new supersize version - presumably for our supersized, McDonald’s feed American (and Canadian) asses.



While the interior doesn’t suffer the same air of cheapness of the Jetta, the exterior does share a family resemblance. And in doing so, this is a very generic looking car. It’s not hideous, but there aren’t many positive adjectives that can be used to describe it either. From it’s vaguely Accord looking face to it’s vaguely Chevrolet Impala looking greenhouse, the look comes off as inoffensive (and a bit dated) looking clone hoping to gain sales by looking enough like the big sellers. Plus they might be trying to morph this apple strudel into looking enough like an apple pie to warm over some of the more jaded buyers that tend to only buy American.



Still though, it’s classy in a very retrained way and far from fugly. Had the 2008 Accord looked like this when it debuted instead of having it’s quasi-Bangle-butt, it would have been commended.