2007(+) Honda CR-V

The current CR-V is one awkward looking SUV. It’s almost as if Honda designers tried to see how weird they could make it look and have the public still want to buy it. From it’s rounded DLO at odds with the square roofline, to the strange pinched rectangle crease surrounding the rear license plate, to the odd rounded rectangular protrusions in it’s black plastic skirting, to the grille within a grille up front – it’s a mish-mash of shapes, all of which don’t quite gel.

Chrysler Sebring

Although this car has marginally gotten better looking in recent years, it’s still a noteworthy design and sales disaster of this decade. The original Sebring (sedan) was a slightly European take on the American mid-size sedan, with clean lines and an egg-crate grille. The current design is an art-deco disaster, all the more upsetting as it was released after the successful and much-lauded 300. There were a lot of raised expectations for this car, and a lot of people were let down. Basically they took a Crossfire – a car which didn’t exactly fare the concept to production journey all that well – and added two more doors, gave it a tall and narrow stance and stuck on some mismatched taillights. I mean – what’s the deal with the taillights? The fender mounted pieces look like they’re from a different car than those affixed to the trunk. It kind of looks like what you see on some run-down older cars, where they had an accident and replaced portions of the taillights with pieces from a scrap yard, except it’s from a newer (or older) model and slightly different. At least the (eventually) fixed them, and got rid of the hood strakes.

Honda CRZ

So this car actually when through 3 concept car stages before arriving at this final production design. Did no one let them know it wasn't getting any prettier? From the Joe Camel nose to the funhouse mirror proportions, I can't see how anyone other than CR-X enthusiasts blinded with enthusiasm and hybrid fetishists would buy this.

Scion Hako

So after 4 years, I may try and get back into this. With four years of ugly car design to go through.

For starters, I present the Scion Hako. Which is apparently some kind of bizarre modern take on the Ford Model-T, built by Toyota.

GDT Speedster

A Corvette based aftermarket car, it supposedly puts out some pretty good numbers. Sadly, I've seen more interesting designs in Cub Scout cars.

Changan... Something?

Changan – one of countless weird Chinese car brands (most of which seemed to be based on Isuzus or Toyotas) – has been featured on the site before for it’s bizarre Star Trek logo.

This new Changan model is either the world’s narrowest and tallest car, or it’s a Shuttle off the USS Enterprise with wheels attached. Sadly due to my lack of fluency of the Chinese language, I do not know the name of the car pictured.

Bling Blang Blong Blung

There are many things on this car worth mentioning. Amongst he typical “ricer” fare are the Lamborghini style scissor doors that don’t appear to open high enough (do you crawl under them?), classy rims that looks like they’re made of pie plates with holes cuts out (look closely and it’s actually dollar signs and dollar bills) and what appears to be airbrush artwork of sperm trying to penetrate an egg. Other tasteless essentials for also included are "euro" taillights and Z3 vents.

Honda Accord Type-S

Auto Customization Tech Tidbit #204325
Why buy aftermarket bodypieces new when you can find them used? Pieces can regularly be found dirt cheap is scrap yards. Pieces are usually made specific to different makes and models - but not to worry. Just heat it with a blowtorch and mold it to fit! Worried about how to mount it? Installation not lining up properly? The answer is simple - again heat the piece until molten, and affix it to your current bumper. Allow appropriate cooling time and avoila! No fussy screws or bolts!


PLEASE NOTE - Abandoning the favoured "Type R" emblem, this owner has affixed a "Type S" emblem. So many people make fake Type R's now, to see a Type S emblem you just have to automatically assume it's the real thing. Also, the chrome chain license plate cover gives the car an extra shot of testosterone.

Total Eclipse of the Viper

You know, when people ask me what would make a Viper GTS look better, my automatic first response is always "cheap chrome "Euro" aftermarket taillights from a Mitsubishi Eclipse". I mean, what suits an semi-exotic sports car better than cheap molded plastic taillights bought at Canadian Tire that sort of resemble spider eyes?

Chevrolet Z-10

It's a little known fact that before the SSR Chevrolet was toying with the idea of a sports car truck. And here is the photographic evidence. Note the Z28 Camaro front end seamlessly blending into the cab of the S10. A pure masterpiece. Of course I'm kidding and this is just some poor hick's heap of trash. Or am I...


*EDIT* - on closer inspection, this is actually a Nissan Hardbody truck with a Camaro front end grafted on. Which I guess makes it much much worse.